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environment problems facing today's world little ordinary people improve situation government and large companies should responsible for reducing the amount damage v.2

environment problems facing today's world little ordinary people improve situation government and large companies should responsible for reducing the amount damage v. 2
With the pace of developing of the modern society, the demanding in solving urgent problem concerned the environment has confronted everyone from government bodies, civilians to organizations and corporations. In my point of view, it should be the responsibility of individuals to enhance self-awareness regarding environmental issue. To begin with, individual awareness about the ecosystem shall be raised and nutured in all levels of education especially those who study in primary school. Preparation in early age can instil better realisation in later life. if young children are well educated to protect the environment, it may be ensured that the children will have better consciousness when growing up, and the community’s awareness will be improved in general scale. Furthermore, to diminish the damage that human cause to the ecosystem it requires the co-ordinated efforts of people from all levels not just depend only on the action of the government agencies, large companies or mass media. For example, in singapore, the government has put the fine to prevent people including tourists and civilians from disposing trash in the public. The purpose of the fine is to raise the consciousness of people who live in and travel to singapore. However, this seems ineffective if one is rich and is willing to pay the fine rather than bring the trash to the garbage bin for certain reason. As the result, it is important that single individual shall aware the effect of their action to the ecosystem and curb it. In conclusion, the critical responsibility in cut down the amount of damage release to the environment shall be placed on individual awareness rather than the general public or government as the pending issue is not create by the government, but it is created by the action of everyone who live in this planet.
With the pace of developing of the modern society, the demanding in solving urgent problem concerned the environment has confronted everyone from
government
bodies, civilians to organizations and corporations. In my point of view, it should be the responsibility of
individuals
to enhance self-awareness regarding environmental issue.

To
begin
with,
individual
awareness about the ecosystem shall
be raised
and
nutured
in all levels of education
especially
those who study in primary school. Preparation in early age can
instil
better
realisation
in later life.
if
young children are
well educated
to protect the environment, it may
be ensured
that the children will have better consciousness when growing up, and the community’s awareness will be
improved
in general
scale.

Furthermore
, to diminish the damage that human cause to the ecosystem it requires the
co-ordinated
efforts of
people
from all levels not
just
depend
only
on the action of the
government
agencies, large
companies
or mass media.
For example
, in
singapore
, the
government
has put the fine to
prevent
people
including tourists and civilians from disposing trash in the public. The purpose of the fine is to raise the consciousness of
people
who
live
in and travel to
singapore
.
However
, this seems ineffective if one is rich and is willing to pay the fine
rather
than bring the trash to the garbage bin for certain reason. As the result, it is
important
that single
individual
shall aware the effect of their action to the ecosystem and curb it.

In conclusion
, the critical responsibility in
cut
down the amount of damage release to the environment shall
be placed
on
individual
awareness
rather
than the
general public
or
government
as the pending issue is not
create
by the
government
,
but
it
is created
by the action of everyone who
live in this planet
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay environment problems facing today's world little ordinary people improve situation government and large companies should responsible for reducing the amount damage v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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