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TPO16 - Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. v.2

TPO16 - The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. v. 2
Nowadays, no one can deny the importance of traveling. Some people may hold the opinion that it is better to travel ia a group led by a tour guide. But others have negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, obviously, traveling individual have more advantage than having trip in a group. My reasons and samples listed below will demonstrate my point according to the most common viewpoints. First let us look at what a person can typically gain from a good journey. If you want to have interesting moments in special days with your family, going travel is the best choice. It goes without saying that if you travel in a group you will not have enough freedom for experiencing exiting moments. By way of illustration, I rememmber from my journey to Shiraz, central city in Iran, I liked to visit many historical places, but there were not any plan in our tour program to went to those places. So, I did not have enough enjoy on that trip. There is also more subtle point we must consider. If you decide to travel independly you have your time and you do not have to act according to the tour schadule. Taking my trip too Shiraz for example again, we did not have sufficient time to visit historical buildings. Furthermore, we had to wake up early in the morning to join the group and it was terrible for me because I used to sleep until 11 o' clock. Finally, I cannot oversee the fact that traveling by group means more communication with other people or even spending less money. But by taking the merits and demerits of traveling in tour, I prefer to have my own trip. Altough some family eager to have the benefits of have trip by group, my family and I do not like to have another bad experience. I prefer to spend more money but make good memory for my wife. Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always some exceptions which are excluded from the general rule, I do agree that the benefits of traveling individual is having your plan, and also, having your time schadule.
Nowadays, no one can deny the importance of traveling.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may hold the opinion that it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
Possible spelling mistake found.
ia
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
led by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
guide.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
others have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude. As far as I
am concerned
,
obviously
, traveling individual have more advantage than having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. My reasons and samples listed below will demonstrate my point according to the most common viewpoints.

First
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us look at what a person can
typically
gain from a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
journey. If you want to have interesting moments in special days with your family, going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is the best choice. It goes without saying that if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
you will not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
freedom for experiencing exiting moments. By way of illustration, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
rememmber
from my journey to Shiraz, central city in Iran, I liked to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
historical places,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there were not any plan in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
program to went to those places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
enjoy on that trip.

There is
also
more subtle point we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider. If you decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
Possible spelling mistake found.
independly
you have your time and you do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
act according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
Possible spelling mistake found.
schadule
. Taking my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
too Shiraz
for example
again, we did not have sufficient time to visit historical buildings.
Furthermore
, we had to wake up early in the morning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and it was terrible for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to sleep until 11
Possible spelling mistake found.
o&
#039; clock.

Finally
, I cannot oversee the fact that traveling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
means more communication with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or even spending less money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
by taking the merits and demerits of traveling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
, I prefer to have my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Altough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
family eager to have the benefits of have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, my family and I do not like to have another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
experience. I prefer to spend more money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
memory for my wife.

Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exceptions which
are excluded
from the general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the benefits of traveling individual is having your plan, and
also
, having your time
Possible spelling mistake found.
schadule
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO16 - The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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