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The mass media, including television, radio and newspaper, have great influence in shaping people's ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer. v.2

The mass media, including television, radio and newspaper, have great influence in shaping people's ideas. with this statement? v. 2
" Whoever controls the mass media, controls the mind" , a well said quote about the influence mass media can have. The given statement asks that whether or not the mass media: Television, radio and newspapers; greatly affects people' s idea and to what extent? I completely agree that the influence of mass media on people' s minds is huge. In the following paragraphs I would list down some points to support my opinion. Television has the most impact full and long lasting mark on one' s ideology. It has been scientifically proven that visual and audio cues are the easiest to grab. Besides, people more easily believe in what they see with own eyes, as in this case an actor doing something in a commercial. For example: An actor might say he got longer and stronger hair after using a particular shampoo, in a TV commercial. Psychologically, people are more likely to prefer that shampoo over others, despite the fact that this actor may or may not be lying. Radio broadcasts may not be so popular these days, however, newspapers are still a huge trend nationwide. Newspapers have the widest news and information coverage even more than TVs. There are more than 40, 000 publications in India and all of them are printing all sort of news whether good or bad, right or wrong. As newspapers are printed on such a large scale and have so much huge coverage, they are the first choice for sending information to masses, thus influencing more minds. Also, based on the fact that newspapers are considered as a trusted source, people quickly believe what they read. To sum up I would say any form of mass media holds the capacity to shape people' s ideology. Hence, productions and publications should responsibly convey the right information to the general public.
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; Whoever controls the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, controls the
Possible spelling mistake found.
mind&quot
;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
a well said quote about the influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can have. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement asks that
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
: Television, radio and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
;
greatly
affects
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and to what extent? I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s minds is huge. In the following paragraphs I would list down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points to support my opinion.

Television has the most impact full and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
mark on
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s ideology. It has been
scientifically
proven that visual and audio cues are the easiest to grab.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more
easily
believe in what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
eyes, as
in this case
an actor doing something in a commercial.
For example
: An actor might say he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
longer and stronger hair after using a particular shampoo, in a TV commercial.
Psychologically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to prefer that shampoo over others, despite the fact that this actor may or may not be lying.

Radio broadcasts may not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular these days,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are
still
a huge trend nationwide.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Newspapers
have the widest news and information coverage even more than TVs. There are more than 40, 000 publications in India and all of them are printing all sort of news whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are printed
on such a large scale and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much huge coverage, they are the
first
choice for sending information to masses,
thus
influencing more minds.
Also
, based on the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are considered
as a trusted source,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
quickly
believe what they read.

To sum up I would say any form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
holds the capacity to shape
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s ideology.
Hence
, productions and publications should
responsibly
convey the right information to the
Consider using "public".
general public
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay The mass media, including television, radio and newspaper, have great influence in shaping people's ideas. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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