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The maps below show the changes that have taken place at the seaside resort of Templeton between 1990 and 2005. v.1

The maps below show the changes that have taken place at the seaside resort of Templeton between 1990 and 2005. v. 1
There is a rise in couples who choose not to have children in a large number of European nations. Couples choose not to have children because they do not want to be tied down and also for the money they would make off the government, but there are drawbacks to be considered. One benefit of not having children is that there is no restriction to what one can achieve. In other words, couples can have all the time to attain any height. Moreover, the government will pay them for not having children because it will reduce overpopulation and increase the economy of the country. For example, for every husband and wife that does not procreate in China, the government pays them a particular amount of money every month to encourage them to stay without children. So, earning monthly income from the authority could make couples not procreate. Nevertheless, one potential problem is that the couple will not have an heir to continue the family legacy. Meaning the family name will die with the couple as they do not have children. Using China as an example, statistics show that the majority of the families in China without heir will their properties to charity, which takes over the all that the couple has ever worked for. Therefore, the heritage of a family can be lost when there are no children to take over. In conclusion, despite the benefits gained when a husband and wife decides not to have children, it can also lead to loss of family heritage.
There is a rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
who choose not to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
European nations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Couples
choose not to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not want to
be tied
down and
also
for the money they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
off the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are drawbacks to
be considered
.

One benefit of not having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is that there is no restriction to what one can achieve.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
can have all the time to attain any height.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will pay them for not having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
overpopulation and increase the economy of the country.
For example
, for every husband and wife that does not procreate in China, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
pays them a particular amount of money every month to encourage them to stay without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, earning monthly income from the authority could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
not procreate.

Nevertheless
, one potential problem is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
will not have an heir to continue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
legacy. Meaning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
name will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
as they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Using China as an example, statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in China without heir will their properties to charity, which takes over the all that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
has ever worked for.
Therefore
, the heritage of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can
be lost
when there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to take over.

In conclusion
, despite the benefits gained when a husband and wife decides not to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, it can
also
lead to loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
heritage.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The maps below show the changes that have taken place at the seaside resort of Templeton between 1990 and 2005. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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