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Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. v. 2
There is an argument about the responsibility of learning the children how to be an effective influence in the community. Firstly, some people's concept is that it is the duty of the parents. In contrast, the others point of view is, it is one of the duties of the school. In my opinion, it is a common responsibility between the home and the learning organization. At the beginning, the performance of fathers and mothers in educating their young children how to participate actively in society is high, because they deal with them on a daily basis and of course they are the role model. For example, a father who subsidising a poor person, consequently, his youngest will tend to do the same thing which will be a positive role to overcome a poverty issue. Nevertheless, others' concept is children should learn their lead in the community in the school, as it is considered as a social activity that is learnt by teachers and children spend more time at the department. For instance, if the institute allocated half an hour daily to teach pupils about the vitality of the role in society, the students would learn it simply. Moreover, the effect of tutors on the pupils is enormous, thus, the function of institutions cannot be neglected because they can change the mindset of the students which will reflect on the whole country. To conclude, building a new generation knowing their crucial function in society is not a simple thing, but it needs time and effort from both either parents or school.
There is an argument about the responsibility of learning the
children
how to be an effective influence in the community.
Firstly
,
some
people
's concept is that it is the duty of the parents.
In contrast
, the others point of view is, it is one of the duties of the school. In my opinion, it is a common responsibility between the home and the learning organization.

At the beginning, the performance of fathers and mothers in educating their young
children
how to participate
actively
in society is high,
because
they deal with them on a daily basis and
of course
they are the role model.
For example
, a father who
subsidising
a poor person,
consequently
, his youngest will tend to do the same thing which will be a
positive
role to overcome a poverty issue.

Nevertheless
, others' concept is
children
should learn their lead in the community in the school, as it
is considered
as a social activity
that is
learnt
by teachers and
children
spend more time at the department.
For instance
, if the institute allocated half an hour daily to teach pupils about the vitality of the role in society, the students would learn it
simply
.
Moreover
, the effect of tutors on the pupils is enormous,
thus
, the function of institutions cannot
be neglected
because
they can
change
the mindset of the students which will reflect
on the whole
country.

To conclude
, building a new generation knowing their crucial function in society is not a simple thing,
but
it needs time and effort from both either parents or school.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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