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The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. v.1

The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
There is a conviction that life will be smoother when there are less number of languages, as the number of languages are diminishing with respect to the passage of time. To an extent the former opinion holds valid and I certainly agree with this conviction. This essay will elucidate the underlying reasons about why few languages will make a better world with supporting arguments. Fundamentally, human life will be better managed if there are less number of spoken languages. The primary reason is to seek better economic opportunities, as one’s native geography never inspires any hope in settling down with a job that is equivalent to that of their dream destination. For example, most of the Asians are so crazy in learning the European languages, because they share a belief that if they are mastered in those languages, it would help them to land in a job especially in their dream destination and uplifts them towards better skill development. Subsequently, this leads to the downfall of their native languages, thereby stimulating an indirect brain drain. However, there is an underlying question as why many of the geographies lost many of their native languages from their past? Or why few languages have monopolised several languages? Assuming if a country has an origin of 100 languages, their citizens would have faced a hard time when they moved within or transcend their borders in search of better survival, as it was not practically plausible for everyone to know all the languages of one country. Owing to this reason, some countries prioritised the languages based on their region’s economic clout and prominence and discouraged the practice of native languages that were of no significance. Thereby, sounding the death knell to many of their native languages. To conclude, in better terms, one should be open enough to welcome the changes if that implies, less number of languages benefit mankind. As these results in satisfying one’s physical, psychological, economical and emotional needs. Finally, every materialistic thing is not susceptible to withstand against the time wave, languages are not an exception to withstand against a huge David which is Time.
There is a conviction that life will be smoother when there are less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are diminishing with respect to the passage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. To an extent the former opinion holds valid and I
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this conviction. This essay will elucidate the underlying reasons about why few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
world with supporting arguments.

Fundamentally
, human life will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
managed if there are less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of spoken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. The primary reason is to seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
economic opportunities, as one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
geography never inspires any hope in settling down with a job
that is
equivalent to that of their dream destination.
For example
, most of the Asians are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
crazy in learning the European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they share a belief that if they
are mastered
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to land in a job
especially
in their dream destination and uplifts them towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
development.
Subsequently
, this leads to the downfall of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, thereby stimulating an indirect brain drain.

However
, there is an underlying question as why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the geographies lost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
from their past? Or why few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
have
Possible spelling mistake. 'monopolised' is British English.
monopolised
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
? Assuming if a country has an origin of 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, their citizens would have faced a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
within or transcend their borders in search of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
survival, as it was not
practically
plausible for everyone to know all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
of one country. Owing to this reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritised' is British English.
prioritised
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
based on their region’s economic clout and prominence and discouraged the practice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
that were of no significance. Thereby, sounding the death knell to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
languages.

To conclude
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
terms, one should be open
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to welcome the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
if that implies, less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
benefit mankind. As these results in satisfying one’s physical, psychological, economical and emotional needs.
Finally
, every materialistic thing is not susceptible to withstand against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wave,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are not an exception to withstand against a huge David which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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