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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons whe v.30

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
When it comes to proper ways we should cultivate our children, it is often argued that ideas coming from elderlies, such as the way a person should think, live or behave, are not compatible with the way youngsters need in the modern life. While I believe that some old values should be kept and be educated to teenagers, I see eye-to-eye with those who claim this assertion, as I believe that due to our fast-changing world, some old methods of living are not suitable in upbringing of children. On the one hand, moral values that are important for old-timers should be preserved. In other words, we can see in our society that older peoples' interaction with others are built based on a respectful and appropriate manner, which is vital for communities and must be passed to next generations. Behaviours such as respecting old people, women and neighbours or ideas like not showing discrimination against other races or hatred thoughts are some examples that are of a paramount importance for elderlies. On the other hand, some seniors ideas seem to be outdated and hard to be adapted to the new generation life. It means that, because of different ways of living, there are some values that do not make sense in this present climate. Therefore, thoughts such as gender roles (men as breadwinners and women as housewives), working hard in difficult situations, going to bed before midnight and wake up in the early morning, and other old-fashioned ideas do not usually match to the way we live today. To conclude, in my opinion, not only are those old ideas of which are related to manner and behaviours needed to be preserved, but they also required to be thought for next generations. Conversely, we have to forget about those old-fashioned living styles and ideas which are barely helpful and make any bettering in next generation lives.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
we should cultivate our children, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
coming from
Possible spelling mistake found.
elderlies
, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
a person should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
or behave, are not compatible with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
youngsters need in the modern life. While I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
values should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
and
be educated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
eye-to-eye with those who claim this assertion, as I believe that due to our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-changing world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
methods of living are not suitable in upbringing of children.

On the one hand, moral values that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-timers should
be preserved
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in our society that older peoples' interaction with others
are built
based on a respectful and appropriate manner, which is vital for communities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be passed
to
next
generations.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Behaviours' is British English.
Behaviours
such as respecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, women and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
like not showing discrimination against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
races or hatred thoughts are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples that are of a paramount importance for
Possible spelling mistake found.
elderlies
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
seniors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
seem to
be outdated
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
be adapted
to the new generation life. It means that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of living, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
values that do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sense in this present climate.
Therefore
, thoughts such as gender roles (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
as breadwinners and women as housewives), working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in difficult situations, going to bed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
midnight and wake up in the early morning, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
do not
usually
match to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

To conclude
, in my opinion, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
of which
are related
to manner and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
needed to
be preserved
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
required to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
for
next
generations.
Conversely
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
forget about those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned living styles and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
which are
barely
helpful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any bettering in
next
generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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