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The Professor describes a model of zones relevant for agricultural marketing. Explain how these are related to the costs of transportation. v.1

The Professor describes a model of zones relevant for agricultural marketing. Explain how these are related to the costs of transportation. v. 1
Nowadays, advertisement has been seen to be a part of our day to day activities as it is often comes across in almost every setting. It is believed that some of the mediums used by the advertisement industries are immoral and unwelcome in the present day society. This essay strongly agrees with the view and the reasons will be discussed below. One of the key reasons why the mode of advertisement is important is because it usually has a long lasting effect on the consumers. To begin, the use of inappropriate contents such as nudity and violent crime scenes in adverts is mind boggling. This is because the youths usually act on what they have imbibed from the media. For example, many people are tempted to try smoking a cigarette due to the consistent adverts they have been exposed to. However, this may be detrimental to their health and overall well-being. In addition, another major problem of advertising using the wrong approach is deception. It is not uncommon to find out that some of the products advertised look or work like they were told to do. Many of these advertisement firms often sugarcoat the effectiveness of their products or make use of fake models in order to increase their sales. For instance, when one buys a skin, beauty product online and after its use, there may still be unnoticed improvement in one's skin. This is therefore an act of deceiving and luring the consumers in order for them to buy sub-standard goods. In conclusion, the advertisement should be done through the proper channels and they should follow ethical rules of the society.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to be a part of our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
activities as it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
across in almost every setting. It
is believed
that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
mediums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
industries are immoral and unwelcome in the present day society. This essay
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the view and the reasons will
be discussed
below.

One of the key reasons why the mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
usually
has a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
effect on the consumers. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of inappropriate contents such as nudity and violent crime scenes in adverts is mind boggling. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the youths
usually
act on what they have imbibed from the media.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are tempted
to try smoking a cigarette due to the consistent adverts they have
been exposed
to.
However
, this may be detrimental to their health and
overall
well-being.

In addition
, another major problem of advertising using the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
approach is deception. It is not uncommon to find out that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
products advertised look or work like they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
to do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
firms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
sugarcoat the effectiveness of their products or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fake models in order to increase their sales.
For instance
, when one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
a skin, beauty product online and after its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, there may
still
be unnoticed
improvement in one's skin. This is
therefore
an act of deceiving and luring the consumers in order for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
sub-standard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
should
be done
through the proper
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
channels and
they should follow ethical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of the society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay The Professor describes a model of zones relevant for agricultural marketing. Explain how these are related to the costs of transportation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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