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The diagrams below show the current ground floor plan of a museum and the proposed changes to its layout. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words v.1

The diagrams below show the current ground floor plan of a museum and the proposed changes to its layout.
Smacking children are becoming quite common in some demographics of the society. These people claim that a physical punishment is an effective way to instill discipline in their kids. This essay will argue that even though smacking children can be a way to teach them, it is certainly not the best form of discipline. Parents have a tendency to teach the best habits to their children, and sometimes they find it easy to use physical power to do so. Hitting children, when they do something unruly, can give them a harsh memory which they tend to keep for long in their lives. Moreover, in a lot of societies, smacking children is seen as one of the most sought-after ways to teach kids, and thus parents continue to do so as they believe that if it worked for them, it would be fine for their children too. For instance, as per a survey conducted in the Indian subcontinent, parents in more than 70% of the families said that they were smacked by either their parents or teachers and they do the same with their children. Thus, the practice is being inculcated in the society as a whole and is being passed from one generation to the other. Despite the fact that smacking a child works to teach them, the idea that it is the best way to do so is quite preposterous. Using physical power over children creates a fear in them, which stops them from trying and experimenting new things in life. Based on a recent study, it also inhibits their normal mental growth. For example, it is very common to see that children who are smacked are very shy, introvert, and reserved. Overall, the idea of hitting children to make them aware is ill-informed as it just hampers their mental growth. This essay argued why smacking children might work in the short run, but is harmful for them in the long run. In my opinion, it is essential for parents to keep their calm when they find their kids doing something unruly rather than hitting them, as using physical power is dangerous for their natural growth.
Smacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are becoming quite common in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demographics of the society. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
punishment is an effective way to instill discipline in their kids. This essay will argue that
even though
smacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be a way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them, it is
certainly
not the best form of discipline.

Parents have a tendency to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the best habits to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they find it easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
power to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Hitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, when they do something
unruly
, can give them a harsh memory which they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
for long in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
societies, smacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as one of the most sought-after ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
kids, and
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
continue to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as they believe that if it worked for them, it would be fine for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
too.
For instance
, as per a survey conducted in the Indian subcontinent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in more than 70% of the families said that they
were smacked
by either their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
teachers and
they do the same with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Thus
, the practice is
being inculcated
in the society as a whole and is
being passed
from one generation to the other.

Despite the fact that smacking a child works to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is the best way to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is quite preposterous. Using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
power over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
creates a fear in them, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
them from trying and experimenting new things in life. Based on a recent study, it
also
inhibits their normal mental growth.
For example
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are smacked
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
shy, introvert, and reserved.
Overall
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of hitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them aware is ill-informed as it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
hampers their mental growth.

This essay argued why smacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might work in the short run,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is harmful for them in the long run. In my opinion, it is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their calm when they find their kids doing something
unruly
rather
than hitting them, as using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
power is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for their natural growth.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay The diagrams below show the current ground floor plan of a museum and the proposed changes to its layout.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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