Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen marry Hospital since its construction in 1960. v.1

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen marry Hospital since its construction in 1960. v. 1
Schooling is a regular person law, is not a luxe, and It ought to be unpaid for all whatever of individual riches. I completely agree that education should be free for everyone. This essay will discuss why gratis schooling is good. First of all, free learning allows poor, but talented people to better realize their gifts. Paid schooling is a big obstacle to the development for penniless but gifted people, so it is more difficult for them to actualize themselves. When education is free, a talented person can calmly develop and realize his gifts. For example, a lot of famous Russian researchers and scientists could not afford studying and they had to learn and develop on their own, at the same time, in Europe and USA, talented people were supported by government, so their science their science more developed than ours. Secondly, unpaid schooling allows the state as a whole to develop better. If all citizens irrespective of individual wealth had a right to gratis schooling, the country's population would be smarter and more educated. People with education make the state better and develop it. For example, schooling is completely free in most advanced countries like Germany, Norway, Sweden, Finland, and another. To sum up, free education is not a luxury, it should be free for everyone, because it has a lot of advantages for people, the state, humanity and the world as a whole, but at the same time government spending would increase greatly, but unpaid schooling will bring him many benefits, and help in the development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schooling
is a regular person law, is not a
Possible spelling mistake found.
luxe
, and It ought to be unpaid for all whatever of individual riches. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
for everyone. This essay will discuss why gratis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
poor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to better realize their gifts. Paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
obstacle to the development for penniless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is more difficult for them to actualize themselves. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
, a talented person can
calmly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
and realize his gifts.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Russian researchers and scientists could not afford
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
studying and
they had to learn and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, at the same time, in Europe and USA, talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were supported
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "their science".
their science their science
more developed than ours.

Secondly
, unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the state as a whole to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
better. If all citizens irrespective of individual wealth had a right to gratis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
, the country's population would be smarter and more educated.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the state better and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
it.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
is completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
in most advanced countries like Germany, Norway, Sweden, Finland, and another.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not a luxury, it should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
for everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the state, humanity and the world as a whole,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spending would increase
greatly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
will bring him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen marry Hospital since its construction in 1960. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts