Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The maps below show changes in the Borrowmeade area in recent times. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The maps below show changes in the Borrowmeade area in recent times.
Nowadays, the debate about how much payment should be given to the employee is becoming increasingly an argumentative issue. Some people think, that higher salary should be given to the people, who graduated from university rather than, who do not. This essay will discuss why Highly educated workers spend a lot of money in Education. Moreover, occupy high skilful and stressful jobs and explain why for these reasons these professionals have the right to get more money than others, which is my opinion. Workers, who have completed their Education, spend plenty of money during their studies. They need to pay for the accomodation and transportation. As well as, buy materials and take private courses. In fact, the last Harvard university research has concluded, that majority of people put about 80% of their savings in Education. For these reasons, it is a justice to give these people more money than others. They also occupy high skilful and stressful jobs. These professionals deal with human souls, so if the do not get enough cash, they may make peoples lives vulnerable to danger. Furthermore, they have not to work over time to get more money, because their workers need a lot of concentration. For instance, doctors and scientists exert great efforts to protect and cure patients from epidemics and diseases. Moreover, engineers build infrastructure, which is a critical job. Therefore, these professionals are in a stressful and skilful field In conclusion, whether or not giving money to the employee is a doubtful issue. Although some people believe that highly educated employee have to get more money, others think that everyone should take the same amount. People who finished their universal studies have spent most of their money during their Education. In addition to, their jobs pressurize them. For these reasons, it is fair to give highly educated workers more money than others, which is my opinion.
Nowadays, the debate about how much payment should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the employee is becoming
increasingly
an argumentative issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, that higher salary should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
graduated from university
rather
than,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not. This essay will discuss why
Highly
educated workers spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
.
Moreover
, occupy high
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
and stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why for these reasons these professionals have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than others, which is my opinion.

Workers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have completed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
, spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
during their studies. They need to pay for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
and transportation.
As well
as,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
materials and take private courses. In fact, the last
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Harvard university
research has concluded, that majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
put about 80% of their savings in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
. For these reasons, it is a justice to give these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than others.

They
also
occupy high
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
and stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. These professionals deal with human souls,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'do' is correct. If 'do' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the do
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
cash, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
vulnerable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
Furthermore
, they have not to work
Did you mean "overtime" (=time someone works beyond normal working hours)?
over time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their workers need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
concentration.
For instance
, doctors and scientists exert great efforts to protect and cure patients from epidemics and diseases.
Moreover
, engineers build infrastructure, which is a critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Therefore
, these professionals are in a stressful and
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
field

In conclusion
,
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the employee is a doubtful issue. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
highly
educated employee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that everyone should take the same amount.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
finished their universal studies have spent most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
.
In addition
to, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
pressurize them. For these reasons, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to give
highly
educated workers more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than others, which is my opinion.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The maps below show changes in the Borrowmeade area in recent times.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts
  • 6.5band
    The maps below changes in the Spanish city of Castellon in recent times.
    In recent years, many people spend time with internet, especially teenagers and thus spending less time with real people. Even though, the internet or technology can help about worldwide communicates, but it also has a negative effect which is effective in our daily life activities, First, the bene...
  • 7band
    the maps below show recent changes in the town of Kimsville.
    Recently, purchasing used clothes has become a popular trend, especially among young people. The main reason for this is the shortage of money and, I believe that it is a positive trend as it recycles old clothes, which is beneficial for the environment. To begin with, most of the youngsters these ...
  • 7band
    The maps below show the layout of James Park in 2017 and the proposed changes to the park in 2027.
    Nations worldwide are dealing with the rising issue of obesity, which has become a concern for the people in all age groups. The main reason for this is the over-consumption of junk food, and a possible solution would be a government to tax such food items and lower the cost of fresh products. To b...
  • 7.5band
    The maps below show recent changes in the town of Kimsville.
    Most of the countries have an important health issue, namely obesity, commonly observed in financially stable countries. While most people feel that, obesity is an important issue in rich countries. However, I feel that overweight is a global problem and below I would like to suggest a few solutions...


Recent posts