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The maps below show recent changes in the town of Kimsville. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, andmake comparisons where relevant v.2

The maps below show recent changes in the town of Kimsville.
Most of the countries have an important health issue, namely obesity, commonly observed in financially stable countries. While most people feel that, obesity is an important issue in rich countries. However, I feel that overweight is a global problem and below I would like to suggest a few solutions to overcome this problem. Firstly, I would recommend homemade food over fast food. As we all know that, people are busy with their lives so they don't spend much time on cooking due to that, they often go to a fast-food restaurant (such as Mc Donald, Burger King, etc. ). Moreover, If the individuals prepare food at their home for some period, then they will lose some body weight. From a recent survey conducted by the New York Times, they came to know that 50 percent of people lost 8 lbs of weight after the people started avoiding outside food. Secondly, I believe one can reduce their obesity by following a good diet. Most people these days are either having high-calorie food or having soft drinks which have more sugar level. If people maintain a healthy diet then it will impact weight loss. For example, many of my friends now preferring vegan food over meat because they have less cholesterol and calories. To conclude, I feel that obesity is a global issue because many people are gaining weight in many countries. I would recommend them to follow these solutions like exercising, having homemade food and maintaining a proper diet to become fit.
Most of the
countries
have an
important
health issue,
namely
obesity,
commonly
observed in
financially
stable
countries
. While most
people
feel that, obesity is an
important
issue in rich
countries
.
However
, I feel that overweight is a global problem and below I would like to suggest a few solutions to overcome this problem.

Firstly
, I would recommend homemade
food
over
fast
food
. As we all know that,
people
are busy with their
lives
so
they don't spend much time on cooking due to that, they
often
go to a
fast
-food restaurant (such as
Mc
Donald, Burger King, etc.
)
.
Moreover
, If the individuals prepare
food
at their home for
some
period, then they will lose
some body
weight
. From a recent survey conducted by the New York Times, they came to know that 50 percent of
people
lost 8 lbs of
weight
after the
people
started
avoiding outside food.

Secondly
, I believe one can
reduce
their obesity by following a
good
diet. Most
people
these days are either having high-calorie
food
or having soft drinks which have more sugar level. If
people
maintain a healthy diet then it will impact
weight
loss.
For example
,
many
of my friends
now
preferring vegan
food
over meat
because
they have less cholesterol and calories.

To conclude
, I feel that obesity is a global issue
because
many
people
are gaining
weight
in
many
countries
. I would recommend them to follow these solutions like exercising, having homemade
food
and maintaining a proper diet to become fit.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The maps below show recent changes in the town of Kimsville.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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