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The map shows the development of Meadowside village and Fonton over three different time periods (1962, 1985 and present) Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The map shows the development of Meadowside village and Fonton over three different time periods (1962, 1985 and present)
Now a day, it is commonly seen that people are travelling to foreign countries for job specific assignments and trying their best to learn their language effectively. Some work may ask an individual to stay for longer periods which makes them to efficiently follow their speech in order to adjust to their environment. Although people are making best efforts to well represent themselves by communicating to their best, I believe it is definitely hard to articulate in every instance due to which they face some major problems. We are going to discuss a few of them as we talk. First and foremost, it is of utmost importance to understand foreign accent such that foreigners coming from different backgrounds should well verse with each other. Failure to do so will lead to poor communication. The frequent occurrence of such instances will lead to non socialization between two people belonging to countries of different spoken language. For instance, a person who belongs to an Asian country will have a different pronunciation of words which a Canadian might not understand or vice versa. Hence, staying in a country where the style becomes must to recite will have a worse impact in an individual's social circle. Secondly, it is also observed that a person of every nationality speaks some slangs and jargons to develop a friendly relationship amongst themselves. Those coming from different countries might not understand such words and will be considered as unsuitable in many ways. One of the major examples is for business partnership. As jobs are changing in various ways, it is common to build a healthy relationship in a job and for that matter, recruiters may not consider such people skilled enough to work for their organization. Therefore, people are facing a lot of challenges in their practical life to deal with such consequences. Undoubtedly, there has been a significant change in people and everyone understands the conversation gap, but still many immigrants are under the pressure of not being considered a native speaker irrespective of residing for a very long time in a different nation. To conclude, we can say that non native speakers are still under the radar of this "language barrier" and are considered incompetent as compared to native speakers in several day to day activities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day, it is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are travelling to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for job specific assignments and trying their best to learn their language
effectively
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
work may ask an individual to stay for longer periods which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to
efficiently
follow their speech in order to adjust to their environment. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
A determiner is probably missing here: "making the best".
making best
efforts to well represent themselves by communicating to their best, I believe it is definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to articulate in every instance due to which they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major problems. We are going to discuss a few of them as we talk.

First
and foremost, it is of utmost importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
foreign accent such that foreigners coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
backgrounds should well verse with each other. Failure to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
will lead to poor communication. The frequent occurrence of such instances will lead to non socialization between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
belonging to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
spoken language.
For instance
, a person who belongs to an Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
pronunciation of words which a Canadian might not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
or vice versa.
Hence
, staying in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where the style becomes
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
recite will have a worse impact in an individual's social circle.

Secondly
, it is
also
observed that a person of every nationality speaks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
slangs
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
jargons
to develop a friendly relationship amongst themselves. Those coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
might not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
such words and will
be considered
as unsuitable in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. One of the major examples is for business partnership. As jobs are changing in various ways, it is common to build a healthy relationship in a job and for that matter, recruiters may not consider such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
skilled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to work for their organization.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
challenges in their practical life to deal with such consequences.

Undoubtedly
, there has been a significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understands
the conversation gap,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
immigrants are under the pressure of not
being considered
a native speaker irrespective of residing for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long time in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nation.
To conclude
, we can say that
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non native
speakers are
still
under the radar of this
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
language barrier
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and
are considered
incompetent as compared to native speakers in
Possible agreement error. The noun day seems to be countable; consider using: "several days".
several day
to day activities.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay The map shows the development of Meadowside village and Fonton over three different time periods (1962, 1985 and present)

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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