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The map shows proposed plans for the development of the old college campus to be completed by 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The map shows proposed plans for the development of the old college campus to be completed by 2016.
Pets are considered as  human beings friends and have been playing an important role in their owners' daily lives since the beginning. Whether owning a pet is the right decision or not, I personally believe,  depends on individual's personal conditions. The essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a pet. To begin with, owning a suitable and lovely pet will be a great decision to its owner. Firstly, it not only provides emotional comfort to its owner, but also helps its owner stay healthy physically and mentally. Pets are excellent companions for the elderly who live alone.  Secondly, having pets for children will help them to nurture positive personal characters, such as responsibility, sympathy,  and so on. Last but not the least, pets also protect owners and their properties. Dogs for the blind not only will lead their owners' ways, but also protect them from traffic accidents. However, keeping a pet is expensive and will bring financial burden to owners because owners will spend money on their pets' food, medical cover and insurance.  Sometime, pets will cause allergic reactions to their owners or carry parasites and transmit them to their owners as well. For example, dog fur is a trigger for some people' asthma. In conclusion, I would say that petting an animal is not merely advantageous for people for the above reasons, but rather is a noble method to save animals by providing them shelters and food. However, sometimes they cause threats to the owner of causing physical attacks, triggering allergic diseases and transmitting parasites and it is expensive to keep them as well. Therefore,  I personally believe that whether owning a pet benefit owners or not will depend on owners' various situations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pets
are considered
as
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
human beings friends and have been playing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in their owners' daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
since the beginning. Whether owning a pet is the right decision or not, I
personally
believe,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
depends on individual's personal conditions. The essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a pet.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, owning a suitable and lovely pet will be a great decision to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
.
Firstly
, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides emotional comfort to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
stay healthy
physically
and mentally.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pets
are excellent companions for the elderly who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone.  
Secondly
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
for children will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to nurture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
personal characters, such as responsibility, sympathy,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
also
protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
and their properties. Dogs for the blind not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will lead their owners' ways,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
protect them from traffic accidents.

However
, keeping a pet is expensive and will bring financial burden to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
will spend money on their pets' food, medical cover and insurance.  Sometime,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
will cause allergic reactions to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
or carry parasites and transmit them to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
as well
.
For example
, dog fur is a trigger for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
' asthma.

In conclusion
, I would say that petting an animal is not
merely
 advantageous for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for the above reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
 is a noble method to save animals by providing them shelters and food.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they cause threats to the owner of causing physical attacks, triggering allergic diseases and transmitting parasites and it is expensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them
as well
.
Therefore
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
I
personally
believe that whether owning a pet benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
or not will depend on owners' various situations.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The map shows proposed plans for the development of the old college campus to be completed by 2016.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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