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Some people prefer to have one long vacation before university. Other people prefer enter university directly after high school. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Some people prefer to have one long vacation before university. Other people prefer enter university directly after high school. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
People often argue that computers are the most crucial invention of the last century. I completely agree with this because computers have shaped the way we live nowadays and changed various aspects of our lives. Our whole world is relying on computers more and more each day. If computers did not exist, life would have been much harder. Everything within our lives has been enhanced by the development of those magical devices. Take learning for an instance, it has become much easier and comfortable today than it was before the invention of computers and the internet. Students can now learn about all kinds of subjects that they find interesting, or they may strengthen their abilities in hard subjects. People who need to learn a new skill that is not available in their area can enroll in an online course and easily learn from home. Additionally, individuals who cannot afford expensive courses have a plethora of free online resources to learn from. Moreover, there are multiple other areas in our lives which are being improved by computers, for example, transportation, security, communication, etc. Even though the success and popularity of computers are inevitable, they have a few disadvantages when used incorrectly. Many individuals, especially youth, are using computers in the wrong way. Wasting countless hours of their time playing online games has become an issue for numerous teenagers and young adults. To conclude, humans heavily depend on computers nowadays. Despite the ongoing debate about the side effects of computers, their benefits obviously outweigh their drawbacks and they demonstrated an undeniable role in our lives.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argue that computers are the most crucial invention of the last century. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
computers have shaped the way we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
nowadays and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
various aspects of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Our whole world is relying on computers more and more each day. If computers did not exist, life would have been much harder. Everything within our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
has
been enhanced
by the development of those magical devices. Take learning for an instance, it has become much easier and comfortable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
than it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the invention of computers and the internet. Students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about all kinds of subjects that they find interesting, or they may strengthen their abilities in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
subjects.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that is
not available in their area can enroll in an online course and
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from home.
Additionally
, individuals who cannot afford expensive courses have a plethora of free online resources to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from.
Moreover
, there are multiple other areas in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
which are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by computers,
for example
, transportation, security, communication, etc.

Even though
the success and popularity of computers are inevitable, they have a few disadvantages when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
incorrectly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals,
especially
youth, are using computers in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way. Wasting countless hours of their time playing online games has become an issue for numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and young adults.

To conclude
, humans
heavily
depend on computers nowadays. Despite the ongoing debate about the side effects of computers, their benefits
obviously
outweigh their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
drawbacks and
they demonstrated an undeniable role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to have one long vacation before university. Other people prefer enter university directly after high school. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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