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The man is working night shifts and is too tired to do homework and attend the school. The two people talk about the man's problem. Describe the problem and state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v.1

The man is working night shifts and is too tired to do homework and attend the school. The two people talk about the man's problem. Describe the problem and state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v. 1
Education is the way to success. The more you gain it, the more you acquire knowledge and move forward to the successful career. After schooling, going to work is not a bad idea because one start earning and learning at an early age. But in my point of view, a person having a huge amount of information can be more successful in life. After completion of school literacy, when a student goes to college or university for higher study, he learns to deal with several kinds of challenges that we face in our life. The amount of confidence and knowledge that he imbibes from these institutions will definitely going to help him reach his goals in life. Apart from this, he uses to interact with people of high skills and thus, can improve his communication skills too. Moreover, after the schooling a student chooses his one stream of education that he goes to study further, he becomes a professional degree holder in that subject which helps him to get a satisfactory and his stream related work in the future. Furthermore, he also get opportunities to participate in different kind of activities like cultural, sports etc. On the contrary side, if we talk about the students who start working after school, are the ones who become self dependent and more responsible human as compared to the others. There is one thing, that is why I would prefer studying at academy or college, is the Growth. Somebody who have passed only secondary examination, in what stream he can be adapted? This question makes us think of higher studies. Individual having school level study would remain there, even after 10 years. On the other hand, if a person gets a professional degree of 3 or 5 years after schooling, can definitely get 10 times more salary than the person who has been working after schooling for 10 years. In the recent study, in the US, it has proven that persons with higher literacy are much more successful in their lives than the others who didn't study at college or academy. At the end of the day, we can conclude that learning makes a difference. You cannot compare the professional degrees and educational institution or college experiences with schools. So, every individual in our society must be educated enough to reach his aim and be able to welcome a successful and self dependent career. Only then, one can contribute to the well being of the economy of his country.
Education is the way to success. The more you gain it, the more you acquire knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
career. After
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
, going to work is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning and learning at an early age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my point of view, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
having a huge amount of information can be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in life.

After completion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
literacy, when a student goes to college or university for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, he learns to deal with several kinds of challenges that we face in our life. The amount of confidence and knowledge that he imbibes from these institutions will definitely going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him reach his goals in life. Apart from this, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
to interact with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
thus
, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
too.
Moreover
, after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
a student chooses his one stream of education that he goes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
further
, he becomes a professional degree holder in that subject which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a satisfactory and his stream related work in the future.
Furthermore
, he
also
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
get
opportunities to participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of activities like cultural, sports etc.

On the contrary
side, if we talk about the students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, are the ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
become self dependent and more responsible human as compared to the others. There is one thing,
that is
why I would prefer studying at academy or college, is the Growth. Somebody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have passed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
secondary examination, in what stream he can
be adapted
? This question
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. Individual having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
would remain there, even after 10 years.
On the other hand
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a professional degree of 3 or 5 years after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
, can definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
10 times more salary than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has been working after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
for 10 years. In the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, in the US, it has proven that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
with higher literacy are much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
than the others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
didn't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at college or academy.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day, we can conclude that learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a difference. You cannot compare the professional degrees and educational institution or college experiences with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, every individual in our society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to reach his aim and be able to welcome a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
and self dependent career.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
then, one can contribute to the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of the economy of his country.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The man is working night shifts and is too tired to do homework and attend the school. The two people talk about the man's problem. Describe the problem and state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
415 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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