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Q5. 10 The man is working out 8 hours/day and he is exausted. The two people talk about the man's problem. Describe the problem and state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v.1

Q5. 10 The man is working out 8 hours/day and he is exausted. The two people talk about the man's problem. Describe the problem and state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v. 1
Technology has been flourishing by leaps and bounds in each and every area of life and shopping is not an exception. In these days, people are doing their shopping on the internet and it has both advantages and disadvantages. In this essay I will explain why I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The most significant deniable disadvantage about this is a reliability of the internet. When the online product being purchased, it usually requires of detailed credit card information which can be easily used for theft or there is no way to make sure the item will be sent to buyer. To illustrate this, in Turkey, people are bought farming lands from an online website and later it comes up whole website is fake and people were lost their money. Also, the recent researches showing that most of the crimes recently admitted are online defrauds in many countries. Conversely, there are many reasons why people prefer to buy things online. One of them is the accessibility of products which can’t be found in nearest stores. To make it clear, people can reach anything they want in anywhere in the world without physically going there like a designer bag in Italy can be easily bought from the Australia. Moreover, online shopping platforms may have more variety and consumers will be having more options and it will be much easier to ordering them with one click. For example, groceries can be bought without the challenge of carrying them. In conclusion, despite the issues with lack of reliability, I wholeheartedly believe online shopping has more merits than its demerits because of the accessibility to wider options and it is easier than to actually go for shopping.
Technology has been flourishing by leaps and bounds in each and every area of life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is not an exception. In these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the internet and it has both advantages and disadvantages. In this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

The most significant deniable disadvantage about this is a reliability of the internet. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
product being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
, it
usually
requires of detailed credit card information which can be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for theft or there is no way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure the item will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to buyer. To illustrate this, in Turkey,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
farming lands from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
website and later it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
up whole website is fake and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were lost
their money.
Also
, the recent researches showing that most of the crimes recently admitted are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
defrauds in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.

Conversely
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. One of them is the accessibility of products which can’t
be found
in
A determiner is probably missing here: "the nearest".
nearest
stores. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can reach anything they want in anywhere in the world without
physically
going there like a designer bag in Italy can be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from the Australia.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
platforms may have more variety and consumers will be having more options and it will be much easier to ordering them with one click.
For example
, groceries can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
without the challenge of carrying them.

In conclusion
, despite the issues with lack of reliability, I
wholeheartedly
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has more merits than its demerits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the accessibility to wider options and it is easier than to actually go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay Q5. 10 The man is working out 8 hours/day and he is exausted. The two people talk about the man's problem. Describe the problem and state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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