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The man expresses his opinion of the university's plan to eliminate the bus service. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v.2

The man expresses his opinion of the university's plan to eliminate the bus service. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 2
Nowadays, we are observing traffic congestion across all the cities globally, and people suggest that raising the fuel price is the most effective method to curb it. In my opinion, it will not alleviate the problem because the hike in petrol fare will lead to inflation and irregular distribution of economic. Firstly, the increase in the cost of petroleum not benefit middle class people considering the fact that 70% of the world's population are rural and do not have enough wealth to beat the hike. Secondly, annual increment in the income of people is around 4-6% and this hike will cause social and moral injustice to them, as they have other expenses as well. In addition, the increment in fuel purchasing cost will make the oil-rich nations affluent because the crude oil is cheap and it's worth barely increase. Consequently, this will lead to the irregular distribution of the economy as the oil producing countries will prosper and the nations depending upon them for oil will have to pay a heavy price for petrol, thus plummeting their economy. However, these problems can be mitigated by using public transportation and compressed natural gas in vehicles. Furthermore, the use of electric vehicles can reduce the pollution to an extent. Moreover, the spotlight should be deployed in all the cities to maintain the discipline on the roads and strict laws should be incorporated. To conclude, increasing the cost of petrol is not a sustainable idea to control movement of transport and pollution. However, we must rely on other natural resources and promote public transport.
Nowadays, we are observing traffic congestion across all the cities globally, and
people
suggest that raising the fuel price is the most effective method to curb it. In my opinion, it will not alleviate the problem
because
the hike in petrol fare will lead to inflation and irregular distribution of economic.

Firstly
, the increase in the cost of petroleum not benefit middle
class
people
considering the fact that 70% of the world's population are rural and do not have
enough
wealth to beat the hike.
Secondly
, annual increment in the income of
people
is around 4-6% and this hike will cause social and moral injustice to them, as they have other expenses
as well
.

In addition
, the increment in fuel purchasing cost will
make
the oil-rich nations affluent
because
the crude oil is
cheap
and it's worth
barely
increase.
Consequently
, this will lead to the irregular distribution of the economy as the oil producing countries will prosper and the nations depending upon them for oil will
have to
pay a heavy price for petrol,
thus
plummeting their economy.

However
, these problems can
be mitigated
by using public transportation and compressed natural gas in vehicles.
Furthermore
, the
use
of electric vehicles can
reduce
the pollution to an extent.
Moreover
, the spotlight should
be deployed
in all the cities to maintain the discipline on the roads and strict laws should
be incorporated
.

To conclude
, increasing the cost of petrol is not a sustainable
idea
to control movement of transport and pollution.
However
, we
must
rely on other natural resources and promote public transport.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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Frank Smith

IELTS essay The man expresses his opinion of the university's plan to eliminate the bus service. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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