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The man expresses his opinion of the university s plan to eliminate the bus service State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion v.1

The man expresses his opinion of the university s plan to eliminate the bus service State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion v. 1
In our lives, we move from one place to another one for various reasons. While travelling, with developing the technology we are becoming dependent on vehicles, whether it is private car or public bus. Besides, owing to an automobile brings some drawbacks, it has benefits and that is why the number of the automobile owner is increasing every day. The main advantages of owing to a personal auto are it gives the freedom of travelling. The person can become flexible about the destination, timetable or routes where will go and also will not have to set the time, according to the schedule of public transportation, wait for hours, stop every station to arrive the location. Therefore, it ensures to travel comfortably in many ways. Moreover, a car-owner can take people who want to attend the journey with the goods on the contrary to public transport. In terms of benefits, sometimes personal car might be cheaper, more safety and more comfort. On the other hand, owing to a car has some disadvantages as well. First of all private automobiles requires the garage place and parking issues. Furthermore, it cannot carry many passengers at a time, even if occupy spaces in the street. As the number of autos is increasing on the road so does the traffic jam and also is the huge damage to human health and the environment. The more cars mean more air pollutions. Perhaps the major drawbacks of owing to an auto are more expensive for a person who could have easily available public transportation. For example the individual would have to travel alone by bus, the cost per person might be economical. To sum up, I think the private auto is a very useful vehicle that offers more advantages to its owner. However, the environmental issues as much as the expense of using cars should not be ignored if the public transportation system is accessible and efficient.
In our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one place to another one for various reasons. While travelling, with developing the technology we are becoming dependent on vehicles, whether it
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a private" or "is an private"
is private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
bus.
Besides
, owing to an automobile brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, it has benefits and
that is
why the number of the automobile owner is increasing every day.

The main advantages of owing to a personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
auto
are it gives the freedom of travelling. The person can become flexible about the destination, timetable or routes where will go and
also
will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
set the time, according to the schedule of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation, wait for hours,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
every station to arrive the location.
Therefore
, it ensures to travel
comfortably
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
Moreover
, a car-owner can take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who want to attend the journey with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
on the contrary
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport. In terms of benefits,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
might be cheaper, more safety and more comfort.

On the other hand
, owing to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
as well
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
private automobiles requires the garage place and parking issues.
Furthermore
, it cannot carry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
passengers at a time, even if occupy spaces in the street. As the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
autos
is increasing on the road
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
does the traffic jam and
also
is the huge damage to human health and the environment. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
mean more air pollutions. Perhaps the major drawbacks of owing to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
auto
are more expensive for a person who could have
easily
available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation.
For example
the individual would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel alone by bus, the cost per person might be economical.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
auto
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful vehicle that offers more advantages to its owner.
However
, the environmental issues as much as the expense of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation system is accessible and efficient.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The man expresses his opinion of the university s plan to eliminate the bus service State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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