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Integrated speaking, question 3: The university is planning to eliminate its free buss service for the students. The man expresses his opninion about this decision of the university. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opin v.1

Integrated speaking, question 3: The university is planning to eliminate its free buss service for the students. The man expresses his opninion about this decision of the university. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opin v. 1
It has been suggested that every staff in an organization should be treated the same way with a similar total number of holidays annually. The essay will state why I do not agree because some staff have put in long years of service and are more qualified. Experience in an establishment should be taken into consideration. When a staff in an office worked a long time and gained enough ground in the workplace it should count for something. Admittedly, equity and fairness are important to make employees motivated in an organisation, However, in order to put fair and equal treatment into practice work experience must be of utmost importance. For instance, employees who have been in Coca cola plc for lengthier period are entitled to more vacation times than their counterparts who have not stayed that length of time. Furthermore, qualification is a factor that should be used as a yardstick. The fact that some workers have a higher certificate than others so, therefore, is known as senior employees should not be underrated. These senior cadres of staff should be given preferential treatment in the area of break times. To illustrate further, most institutes allow their senior staff the opportunity to choose the number of times they would like to go on vacation sometimes going as far as paying for their trips. To Conclude, I strongly disagree that all staff in an office be treated at par in relation to holidays because years of experience and qualification put some on a higher level than others
It has
been suggested
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
in an organization should
be treated
the same way with a similar total number of holidays
annually
. The essay will state why I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use a plural noun after 'some' or use "staff members".
staff
have put in long years of service and are more qualified.

Experience in an establishment should
be taken
into consideration. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
in an office worked a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and gained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
ground in the workplace it should count for something.
Admittedly
, equity and fairness are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
employees motivated in an
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisation
,
However
, in order to put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and equal treatment into practice work experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be of utmost importance.
For instance
, employees who have been in Coca cola
Possible spelling mistake found.
plc
for lengthier period
are entitled
to more vacation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
than their counterparts who have not stayed that length of time.

Furthermore
, qualification is a factor that should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a yardstick. The fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workers have a higher certificate than others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
therefore
,
is known
as senior employees should not
be underrated
. These senior cadres of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
preferential treatment in the area of break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. To illustrate
further
, most institutes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
the opportunity to choose the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
they would like to go on vacation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
going as far as paying for their trips.

To Conclude
, I
strongly
disagree that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
in an office
be treated
at par in relation to holidays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
years of experience and qualification put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
on a higher level than others
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Integrated speaking, question 3: The university is planning to eliminate its free buss service for the students. The man expresses his opninion about this decision of the university. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opin v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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