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The chart below gives information about the percentage of the adult population who were overweight in four different countries in 1980, 1990 and 2000. v.1

The chart below gives information about the percentage of the adult population who were overweight in four different countries in 1980, 1990 and 2000. v. 1
Tourism has become the leading industry across the world. Some argue that this industry leads to conflicts among people coming from different nations. I disagree with this notion to a significant extent, and in the following, I will give reasons to shed light on the enhanced understanding among people as a result of tourism. On the one hand, it is true that cultural diversification across the globe can cause some sort of misunderstandings. As an illustration, consider the differences in the body language of people living in different places. While an expression that is a sign of respect in one area, it can be interpreted as being offensive in another place. However, it is highly unlikely that such differences would cause tensions, because nowadays people are more informed thanks to the globalization; therefore, being open-minded results in more toleration. Also, it is worth mentioning that the tourism is the precursor to the globalization, as many people are learning about traditions other than the local ones, through travelling to foreign countries. On the other hand, it is evident that tourism has made people closer together, simply by considering the way tourists are welcomed in different places. For instance, international restaurants are ubiquitous in every country, offering ethnic foods of numerous nations. According to some experts, the increased number of such restaurants is a reflective of the raised understanding. That is to say, local people are more aware of the fundamental requirements of the visitors, and are making great effort to create one-of-a-kind experiences for them. In conclusion, although some misunderstandings are likely to stem from discrepancies in the cultural values of different nations, the contribution of tourism in better understanding is beyond dispute, regarding people's awareness as well as their hospitality.
Tourism
has become the leading industry across the world.
Some
argue that this industry leads to conflicts among
people
coming from
different
nations. I disagree with this notion to a significant extent, and in the following, I will give reasons to shed light on the enhanced understanding among
people
as a result
of tourism.

On the one hand, it is true that cultural diversification across the globe can cause
some
sort of misunderstandings. As an illustration, consider the differences in the body language of
people
living in
different
places. While an expression
that is
a
sign
of respect in one area, it can
be interpreted
as being offensive in another place.
However
, it is
highly
unlikely that such differences would cause tensions,
because
nowadays
people
are more informed thanks to the globalization;
therefore
, being open-minded results in more toleration.
Also
, it is worth mentioning that the
tourism
is the precursor to the globalization, as
many
people
are learning about traditions other than the local ones, through travelling to foreign countries.

On the other hand
, it is evident that
tourism
has made
people
closer together,
simply
by considering the way tourists
are welcomed
in
different
places.
For instance
, international restaurants are ubiquitous in every country, offering ethnic foods of numerous nations. According to
some
experts, the increased number of such restaurants is
a reflective of
the raised understanding.
That is
to say, local
people
are more aware of the fundamental requirements of the visitors, and are making great effort to create one-of-a-kind experiences for them.

In conclusion
, although
some
misunderstandings are likely to stem from discrepancies in the cultural values of
different
nations, the contribution of
tourism
in better understanding is beyond dispute, regarding
people
's awareness
as well
as their hospitality.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The chart below gives information about the percentage of the adult population who were overweight in four different countries in 1980, 1990 and 2000. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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