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Describe a time that you had to change your plan. When this happen? What made you change the plan? What the new plan was? And how you felt about the change? v.1

Describe a time that you had to change your plan. When this happen? What made you change the plan? What the new plan was? And how you felt about the change? v. 1
The issue of keeping a balance between the number of female and male students in universities has been discussed by many. Although some say such a policy should be implemented in all subjects, others, including me, believe that it is not beneficial. Admitting a similar number of students from each gender in some courses will probably render many of them unable to find a job later. For example, most areas of agriculture are too burdensome for almost any women in that they involve heavy physical activities and their working environment is affected significantly by the elements. Therefore, it is unlikely for a woman to be able to find a farming job once she has graduated in, say, agricultural engineering. Besides, such a policy would definitely bar many talented and enthusiastic applicants from studying their favourite courses merely because there may not be enough students of the opposite sex to join the course. Some people think that accepting similar numbers of male and female students in all subjects promotes gender equality. Breaking the social taboos attached to studying courses that are usually prescribed to specific gender. However, forcing students to study something they may not like, or stopping others from studying what they like in order to keep a balance does not seem fair at all, social taboos are not broken in the short term either, and it is more probable that the students who study in fields that are taboo for their gender are rejected and sidelined in the process. In conclusion, I personally disagree, with accepting an equal number of boys and girls in any subject at university since it can complicate finding a job later and promote gender bias, stopping enthusiastic applicants from entering the courses they like because of their sex.
The issue of keeping a balance between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of female and male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in universities has
been discussed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say such a policy should
be implemented
in all subjects, others, including me, believe that it is not beneficial.

Admitting a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from each gender in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
will
probably
render
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them unable to find a job later.
For example
, most areas of agriculture are too burdensome for almost any women in that they involve heavy physical activities and their working environment is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
significantly
by the elements.
Therefore
, it is unlikely for a woman to be able to find a farming job once she has graduated in, say, agricultural engineering.
Besides
, such a policy would definitely bar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
talented and enthusiastic applicants from studying their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
merely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there may not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of the opposite sex to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the course.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that accepting similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of male and female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in all subjects promotes gender equality. Breaking the social taboos attached to studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that are
usually
prescribed to specific gender.
However
, forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study something they may not like, or stopping others from studying what they like in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a balance does not seem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
at all, social taboos are not broken in the short term either, and it is more probable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who study in fields that are taboo for their gender
are rejected
and sidelined in the process.

In conclusion
, I
personally
disagree, with accepting an equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of boys and girls in any subject at university since it can complicate finding a job later and promote gender bias, stopping enthusiastic applicants from entering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
they like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their sex.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a time that you had to change your plan. When this happen? What made you change the plan? What the new plan was? And how you felt about the change? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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