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The main reasons for study among student of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. v.1

The main reasons for study among student of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. v. 1
According to the World Health Organization, more than 40% of diseases are being caused by tobacco products. Owing to this, many nations have implemented a strict regulation to ban smoking in public places; therefore, smokers should smoke only in the allocated smoking zones. In my opinion, I totally agree with this notion because it mitigates unhealthy population rates in society as well as provides people with a chance to refrain from smoking. First of all, it is unquestionably true that the smoking habit is not only injurious to smoker's health, but also prone to cause detrimental health issues to the general populace around them. While smoking, the tobacco components are mixed with air, and negatively affects people who breathe it. To illustrate, the recent survey taken by the Lonely Planet magazine denotes that one-quarter of cancer patients have never experienced smoking before, yet became cancer victims. Besides this, it also deters adolescents from acquiring such habits in their life. By implementing this law, children under eighteen would find it difficult to smoke as the smoking zones are only accessible to adults in many countries. Another factor to consider is this rule could significantly reduce smokers ratio. Indeed, most of the people are smoking because they took locations for granted. When the regime bans public smoking, and penalise people with hefty charges or rigorous punishment would lessen the smoking frequency. For instance, an employee who accustomed to smoke in his office premises would face difficulties to follow smoking zone regulations; thus, would be ended up controlling smoking frequency. To recapitulate, this essay discussed the benefits of the public smoking ban. I believe, in the future, people would be aware of the maladies associated with smoking and get rid of the habit.
According to the World Health Organization, more than 40% of diseases are
being caused
by tobacco products. Owing to this,
many
nations have implemented a strict regulation to ban
smoking
in public places;
therefore
, smokers should smoke
only
in the allocated
smoking
zones. In my opinion, I
totally
agree
with this notion
because
it mitigates unhealthy population rates in society
as well
as provides
people
with a chance to refrain from smoking.

First of all
, it is
unquestionably
true that the
smoking
habit is not
only
injurious to smoker's health,
but
also
prone to cause detrimental health issues to the general populace around them. While
smoking
, the tobacco components
are mixed
with air, and
negatively
affects
people
who breathe it. To illustrate, the recent survey taken by the Lonely Planet magazine denotes that one-quarter of cancer patients have never experienced
smoking
before
,
yet
became cancer victims.
Besides
this, it
also
deters adolescents from acquiring such habits in their life. By implementing this law, children under eighteen would find it difficult to smoke as the
smoking
zones are
only
accessible to adults in
many
countries.

Another factor to consider is this
rule
could
significantly
reduce
smokers ratio.
Indeed
, most of the
people
are
smoking
because
they took locations for granted. When the regime bans public
smoking
, and
penalise
people
with hefty charges or rigorous punishment would lessen the
smoking
frequency.
For instance
, an employee who accustomed to smoke in his office premises would face difficulties to follow
smoking
zone regulations;
thus
, would
be ended
up controlling
smoking
frequency.

To recapitulate, this essay discussed the benefits of the public
smoking
ban. I believe, in the future,
people
would be aware of the maladies associated with
smoking
and
get
rid of the habit.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The main reasons for study among student of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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