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The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a UK school in 1981, 1991, and 2001 v.1

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a UK school in 1981, 1991, and 2001 v. 1
Due to its devastating impacts, halting environment degradation has been one of the top priorities around the world. It is widely believed that such responsibility belongs to transnational organizations. While I do agree with the opinion, I suppose that local authorities should also join hands in such effort. It is undeniable that national governments hold the power to take concrete actions to protect the environment. The primary reason is that only the local authority of each country can have an insight into its own problems and the authority to devise feasible measures. For example, only government officers know exactly which part of the nation has its environment heavily damaged, thus offer practical schemes to fix the situation. Therefore, governments, but not any other entity, should assume the duty to prevent their own environment from degrading. However, I am convinced that transnational organizations also play a crucial role in protecting the environment. International institutions could enable multinational cooperation on a large scale. As a result, more global actions could be taken with the participation of different countries. This, in fact, could guarantee sustainable and drastic impacts on our surroundings since environmental problems usually across borders and beyond the capability of any single nation to solve. For example, countries along the Mekong River, such as Vietnam, Laos, China, and Cambodia, have reached an agreement to establish a transnational entity named Mekong Committee with certain power to tackle issues related to the shared waters. The organization has successfully stopped plans to build hydro-power dams in China or Laos to prevent foreseeable detriments to water conditions in the lower Mekong countries. This case illustrates the indispensable role of international entities in making vital environmental protection decisions in the context that nations are divided by their interests. In conclusion, each country’s authority should bear the duty of keeping their countries from being environmentally degraded. However, it is the transnational organizations that play the deciding role with larger scale impacts
Due to its devastating impacts, halting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
degradation has been one of the top priorities around the world. It is
widely
believed that such responsibility belongs to transnational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
. While I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion, I suppose that local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands in such effort.

It is undeniable that national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
hold the power to take concrete actions to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. The primary reason is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can have an insight into its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
problems and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
to devise feasible measures.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
officers know exactly which part of the nation has its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
heavily
damaged,
thus
offer practical schemes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the situation.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not any other entity, should assume the duty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
from degrading.

However
, I
am convinced
that transnational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
also
play a crucial role in protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. International institutions could enable multinational cooperation on a large scale.
As a result
, more global actions could
be taken
with the participation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This, in fact, could guarantee sustainable and drastic impacts on our surroundings since environmental problems
usually
across borders and beyond the capability of any single nation to solve.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
along the Mekong River, such as Vietnam, Laos, China, and Cambodia, have reached an agreement to establish a transnational entity named Mekong Committee with certain power to tackle issues related to the shared waters. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
has
successfully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
plans to build hydro-power dams in China or Laos to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
foreseeable detriments to water conditions in the lower Mekong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This case illustrates the indispensable role of international entities in making vital environmental protection decisions in the context that nations
are divided
by their interests.

In conclusion
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
should bear the duty of keeping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
from being
environmentally
degraded.
However
, it is the transnational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
that play the deciding role with larger scale impacts
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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IELTS essay The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a UK school in 1981, 1991, and 2001 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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