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The line graph below shows the changes in the price of Outokumpu companies in euros between January 2006 and December 2010 v.1

The line graph below shows the changes in the price of Outokumpu companies in euros between January 2006 and December 2010 v. 1
It is undeniable that genetic engineering is shaping our lives now, with broad implications for all humans. While I accept that it may have some consequences that harm people, I believe that its benefits outweigh its drawback. The main negative implications of genetic engineering are in two areas; food production and the cloning of humans. Some argue that the more genetically modified crop is produced, the more pestilential organisms, such as insects, pests, will be resisted, and in the long term it will have a negative impact on agriculture and farming. On the other part, the area that worries people more is the cloning of humans. Some believe that cloned people will be used to fight in wars, and it is believed that it may lead unprecedented negative consequences. However, as I mentioned above, genetic engineering has important positive aspects, which outweigh its drawbacks. Firstly, although there may be some negative or unprecedented consequences arising from using genetic engineering, people are likely to come up with ideas that help us deal with those. Secondly, for food production, thanks to the genetic engineering, producers such as farmers will have a chance to produce more with the same amount of supplies since products will be more resistant to harmful organisms and they will be able to grow up without damage, and this will lead to lower prices. The less prices will be, the more people will be able to afford to buy these goods. This can solve global famine problem. Thirdly, for area of biology, scientist may use genetic engineering to come with new vaccines to cure harmful, serious diseases, and they may be able to solve genetic defects even before a child is born with the help of genetic engineering. Moreover, it is highly likely that genetic engineering will improve one's life quality and duration thanks to that genetic engineering will make possible the cloning of organs in labs for transplantation purposes. In summary, I am convinced that genetic engineering will have many positive impacts on our lives, and some drawbacks will be overcome.
It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
is shaping our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, with broad implications for all humans. While I accept that it may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consequences that harm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I believe that its benefits outweigh its drawback.

The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
implications of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
are in two areas; food production and the cloning of humans.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that the more
genetically
modified crop
is produced
, the more pestilential organisms, such as insects, pests, will
be resisted
, and in the long term it will have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact on agriculture and farming. On the other part, the area that worries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more is the cloning of humans.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that cloned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to fight in wars, and it
is believed
that it may lead unprecedented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
consequences.

However
, as I mentioned above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects, which outweigh its drawbacks.
Firstly
, although there may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
or unprecedented consequences arising from using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us deal with those.
Secondly
, for food production, thanks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
, producers such as farmers will have a chance to produce more with the same amount of supplies since products will be more resistant to harmful
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
organisms and
they will be able to grow up without damage, and this will lead to lower prices. The
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun prices is countable.
less
prices will be, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. This can solve global famine problem.
Thirdly
, for area of biology, scientist may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with new vaccines to cure harmful, serious diseases, and they may be able to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
defects even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a child
is born
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
.
Moreover
, it is
highly
likely that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
one's life quality and duration thanks to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
possible the cloning of organs in labs for transplantation purposes.

In summary, I
am convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks will
be overcome
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The line graph below shows the changes in the price of Outokumpu companies in euros between January 2006 and December 2010 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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