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Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and the disadvantages of this trend? v.2

Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and the disadvantages of this trend? v. 2
The method of contributing and using the data has been totally changed by the presence of the internet. This essay will discuss the highest critical complications, including addiction and time-consuming. This article will also suggest how to solve these problems which can be controlled by limiting and controlling the time using the internet. Firstly, the biggest obstacle is considered to be craving to use the world wide web and spending most of their time using it. With the progress of technology, there are many more websites and applications that strongly attract the individuals. For example, the person tends to search for specific info, nevertheless the website offers many other information which is related and even not related to that topic, hence the one will consume the most unexpected duration unconsciously. In addition, games and social media became a source of addiction that nobody can do without it. Furthermore, neglecting the work and developing health problems such as obesity, heart disease and hypertension as a result of the long period spent without any movement. Secondly, having control at the duration spent using the internet is one of the techniques to overcome the internet enslavement, as well as, performing physical exercises. The involvement in outdoors practice is helping to prevent chronic illness, moreover, to reduce the timing consumed indoors. For instance, families, who are performing more activities, are happier and healthier than those who are exceeding the usage of electronic devices. To conclude, the internet technology is beneficial when used in limits. This essay discussed addiction and abusing the time as the biggest problems. And suggested some keys to solve it, including monitoring the time and physical exercise, as well.
The method of contributing and using the data has been
totally
changed
by the presence of the internet. This essay will discuss the highest critical complications, including addiction and time-consuming. This article will
also
suggest how to solve these problems which can
be controlled
by limiting and controlling the
time
using the internet.

Firstly
, the biggest obstacle
is considered
to be craving to
use
the
world wide web
and spending most of their
time
using it. With the progress of technology, there are
many
more websites and applications that
strongly
attract the individuals.
For example
, the person tends to search for specific info,
nevertheless
the website offers
many other information
which
is related
and even not related to that topic,
hence
the one will consume the most unexpected duration
unconsciously
.
In addition
, games and social media became a source of addiction that nobody can do without it.
Furthermore
, neglecting the work and developing health problems such as obesity, heart disease and hypertension
as a result
of the long period spent without any movement.

Secondly
, having control at the duration spent using the internet is one of the techniques to overcome the internet enslavement,
as well
as, performing physical exercises. The involvement in outdoors practice is helping to
prevent
chronic illness,
moreover
, to
reduce
the timing consumed indoors.
For instance
, families, who are performing more activities, are happier and healthier than those who are exceeding the usage of electronic devices.

To conclude
, the internet technology is beneficial when
used
in limits. This essay discussed addiction and abusing the
time
as the biggest problems. And suggested
some
keys to solve it, including monitoring the
time
and physical exercise,
as well
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and the disadvantages of this trend? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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