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The graph below shows consumers average annual expenditures on cell phone national and international fixed line and services in America between 2001 and 2010 v.1

The graph below shows consumers average annual expenditures on cell phone national and international fixed line and services in America between 2001 and 2010 v. 1
Nowadays, it is observed that regular use of computer among young children is increasing considerably. Although there are some negative aspects of using this technology, but the significance of using computer among youngsters could not be underestimated. To embark with, the computer has assisted youngsters to improve their learning, creativity and skills in many ways. For instance, in their educational prospects, they can easily access online books, tutorials, webinars to get a better understanding of their relevant topic. In addition to this, they could easily access and register to online courses offered by skilled professionals all over the world, which is time saving on one hand and cost effective on the other, for example, through Skype or Facebook. Furthermore, from an economic viewpoint, advancement in technology had made it readily accessible and affordable. On the other hand, irrational use of computers may cause serious consequences among the users. Children spending hours on the internet to watch a movie, playing a video game or chat with friends, preferred to stay isolated and their social life would be affected in a long run. Furthermore, prolong on screen time would lead to sedentary lifestyle with less physical activity that could eventually affect their health. For these reasons parents need to have a strict check to monitor the activity of their children. In conclusion, I believe the computer has significantly showed new horizon to assist youngster to improve their skill and creativity if used in a sensible manner. Furthermore, parents should actively monitor their children for sensible use of this technology.
Nowadays, it
is observed
that regular
use
of computer among young children is increasing
considerably
. Although there are
some
negative
aspects of using this technology,
but
the significance of using computer among youngsters could not
be underestimated
.

To embark with, the computer has assisted youngsters to
improve
their learning, creativity and
skills
in
many
ways.
For instance
, in their educational prospects, they can
easily
access online books, tutorials, webinars to
get
a better understanding of their relevant topic.
In addition
to this, they could
easily
access and register to online courses offered by skilled professionals all over the world, which is time saving on one hand and cost effective on the other,
for example
, through Skype or Facebook.
Furthermore
, from an economic viewpoint, advancement in technology had made it
readily
accessible and affordable.

On the other hand
, irrational
use
of computers may cause serious
consequences among
the users. Children spending hours on the internet to
watch
a movie, playing a video game or chat with friends, preferred to stay isolated and their social life would be
affected
in a long run.
Furthermore
, prolong on screen time would lead to sedentary lifestyle with less physical activity that could
eventually
affect their health. For these reasons parents need to have a strict
check
to monitor the activity of their children.

In conclusion
, I believe the computer has
significantly
showed
new horizon to assist youngster to
improve
their
skill
and creativity if
used
in a sensible manner
.
Furthermore
, parents should
actively
monitor their children for sensible
use
of this technology.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below shows consumers average annual expenditures on cell phone national and international fixed line and services in America between 2001 and 2010 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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