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The chart shows the price in Euros of 800 grams of four types of bread in one European country from 2001 to 2006 v.1

The chart shows the price in Euros of 800 grams of four types of bread in one European country from 2001 to 2006 v. 1
Modern lifestyles have brought us great convenience, albeit at a cost in the quality of life. Many people are struggling with health issues today, by choosing to lead an advanced but unhealthy way of life. This essay will discuss the various illnesses connected to such lifestyles while providing possible solutions to help overcome these concerns. To begin with, we have access to things now more than ever; online shopping has helped bring everything we need at our fingertips. While this phenomenon has transformed the way we lead our life, it has affected our health drastically. Sedentary lifestyles have known to cause overweight issues and if ignored, can result in serious health problems like obesity and heart attacks. Research suggests that several people in the US for instance, have been suffering from obesity issues due to consumption of fast food and lack of physical exercise. Furthermore, modern lifestyles are linked to the overall decline in a person’s mental health which is often neglected. Studies have proven that we need a balance of body, mind and soul to function efficiently. Fast-paced lifestyle involves multi-tasking and hustling, which leaves us very little time to take care of ourselves. We have cases of mental health like anxiety, burn out, for instance, that were never heard of in earlier times. This is inevitably connected to the way we are choosing to live our lives. Although, this matter has raised grave concerns, there are potential solutions we can implement to prevent them. One long-term and simple solution is to adopt a sustainable, minimal lifestyle; one which follows a healthy routine along with some physical activities. Another effective answer is to incorporate healthy habits like walking to the supermarket for groceries, taking the steps instead of the elevator, and incorporating healthy meals and snacks to our eating habits. These simple yet solid techniques have the potential to transform our health. To conclude, modern lifestyles have inevitably led us to making unhealthy choices. However, by prioritising our health and adopting clean routines and habits, we can keep diseases at bay.
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
have brought us great convenience, albeit at a cost in the quality of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are struggling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, by choosing to lead an advanced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unhealthy way of life. This essay will discuss the various illnesses connected to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
while providing possible solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
overcome these concerns.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we have access to things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
more than ever; online shopping has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
bring everything we need at our fingertips. While this phenomenon has transformed the way we lead our life, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
drastically
. Sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
have known to cause overweight issues and if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
, can result in serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems like obesity and heart attacks. Research suggests that several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the US
for instance
, have been suffering from obesity issues due to consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food and lack of physical exercise.

Furthermore
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
are linked
to the
overall
decline in a person’s mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
neglected. Studies have proven that we need a balance of body, mind and soul to function
efficiently
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
-paced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
involves multi-tasking and hustling, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time to take care of ourselves. We have cases of mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
like anxiety, burn out,
for instance
, that were never heard of in earlier times. This is
inevitably
connected to the way we are choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Although, this matter has raised grave concerns, there are potential solutions we can implement to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them. One long-term and simple solution is to adopt a sustainable, minimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
; one which follows a healthy routine along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical activities. Another effective answer is to incorporate healthy habits like walking to the supermarket for groceries, taking the steps
instead
of the elevator, and incorporating healthy meals and snacks to our eating habits. These simple
yet
solid techniques have the potential to transform our health.

To conclude
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
have
inevitably
led us to making unhealthy choices.
However
, by
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritising' is British English.
prioritising
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and adopting clean routines and habits, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
diseases at bay.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay The chart shows the price in Euros of 800 grams of four types of bread in one European country from 2001 to 2006 v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
342 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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