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The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. v.1

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities.
Younger generations in some nations are avoiding their right to vote. The main problem this causes is that leaders cannot address the issues of young people and the most viable solution is for the government to sponsor awareness campaigns in the media and colleges. The primary problem of this trend is that politicians cannot solve the problems of young people. In other words, leaders are not aware of what younger individuals want from them because they have not given their opinion. Therefore, their issue can unheard and they will think about the public who have given their contribution to elections. For example, according to a report published by the BBC in the year 2016, 40% of young people have not given their votes in general elections. Thus, the government stops addressing young generations for their issues. A possible solution to this predicament is that the authorities should educate younger individuals about their rights through organizing campaigns in universities. That is to say that the government could shed some light on this situation to aware youth about the consequences of not giving their vote. As a result, they will understand how important is to give an opinion for their betterment and the government can make laws that will be beneficial for their future. For instance, a similar initiative implemented in Ireland and this resulted in a 30% increase in the number of young people who cast their votes in the last elections. In conclusion, young people are not giving their votes in few countries and the problem of this approach is that Politicians do not give importance to their issues and to solve this problem the government should arrange campaigns to aware youth of the importance of the vote.
Younger generations in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations are avoiding their right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
this causes is that leaders cannot address the issues of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the most viable solution is for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to sponsor awareness campaigns in the media and colleges.

The primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of this trend is that politicians cannot solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
, leaders are not aware of what younger individuals want from them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
their opinion.
Therefore
, their issue can
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
unheard and
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the public who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
their contribution to elections.
For example
, according to a report published by the BBC in the year 2016, 40% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
votes
in general
elections.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
addressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations for their issues.

A possible solution to this predicament is that the authorities should educate younger individuals about their rights through organizing campaigns in universities.
That is
to say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on this situation to aware youth about the consequences of not giving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
.
As a result
, they will understand how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is to give an opinion for their betterment and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
laws that will be beneficial for their future.
For instance
, a similar initiative implemented in Ireland and this resulted in a 30% increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cast their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
votes
in the last elections.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not giving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
votes
in few countries and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of this approach is that Politicians do not give importance to their issues and to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should arrange campaigns to aware youth of the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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