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In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. Give reasons in support of and opposing this traffic congestion policy, and give your own opinion. v.3

In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. Give reasons in support of and opposing this traffic congestion policy, and give your own opinion. v. 3
Although it is sometimes thought that the protection of the surroundings should be the individual's obligation, other people believe that it is the primary responsibility of the authority. In my opinion, the argument about who is responsible should not be the bone of contention therefore, the management should collaborate move with the private enterprises in solving environmental issues. On the one hand, individuals are directly affected when there is an environmental disaster. In other words, most human activities which have been carried out carelessly will eventually catch up with them. For example, human health is being adversely affected when burning waste materials which will lead to have nasal cavity diseases. Another good example is the depletion of the ozone layer by chlorofluorocarbons (CFC) which will have a consequential impact on their lives. On the other hand, it is often thought that the government has an important role to play in combating environmental issues. The fundamental role of the authority is not only to promulgate laws and regulations, but also enforce it to the letter. If the authorities are reluctant in enforcing the laws, there will be chaos and there will be a more and more degradation of the surroundings. When the government is not making the laws to protect the environment, then people would behave the way they like and the community as a whole would suffer the consequences. Finally, in my view, both the individuals and the authorities should be responsible for the environment, but the state ought to cooperate with the private enterprises. While individuals have their role to play in keeping the surroundings tidy, the state, who has the most vital aspect should join forces with a multinational organization in order to solve the environmental problems. The committee of private companies should, therefore, be ready when the authority calls them for collaboration on the matters pertaining to the environment. In conclusion, despite the fact that people are having diverging views, I believe it would be beneficial for everyone if the leaders can work with privately owned entities in combating climate challenges.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the protection of the surroundings should be the individual's obligation, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is the primary responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
. In my opinion, the argument about who is responsible should not be the bone of contention
therefore
, the management should collaborate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
with the private enterprises in solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues.

On the one hand, individuals are
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
when there is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
disaster.
In other words
, most human activities which have
been carried
out
carelessly
will
eventually
catch up with them.
For example
, human health is being
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
when burning waste materials which will lead to have nasal cavity diseases. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is the depletion of the ozone layer by chlorofluorocarbons (CFC) which will have a consequential impact on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to play in combating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues. The fundamental role of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to promulgate laws and regulations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enforce it to the letter. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
are reluctant in enforcing the laws, there will be chaos and there will be a more and more degradation of the surroundings. When the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is not making the laws to protect the environment, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would behave the way they like and the community as a whole would suffer the consequences.

Finally
, in my view, both the individuals and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
should be responsible for the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the state ought to cooperate with the private enterprises. While individuals have their role to play in keeping the surroundings tidy, the state, who has the most vital aspect should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
forces with a multinational organization in order to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems. The committee of private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should,
therefore
, be ready when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
calls them for collaboration on the matters pertaining to the environment.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are having diverging views, I believe it would be beneficial for everyone if the leaders can work with
privately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
entities in combating climate challenges.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. Give reasons in support of and opposing this traffic congestion policy, and give your own opinion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
344 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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