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The bar chart below shows the average monthly maximum temperatures for three Australian cities in the year 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The bar chart below shows the average monthly maximum temperatures for three Australian cities in the year 2016.
In recent time, the pattern of shopping amongst the people has drastically changed. The local shops are eradicated from the market; they have been replaced by the large shopping malls in the public’s shopping preferences. Such a change has both bright and dark sides, which will discuss in the following paragraphs. To begin with, the positive development of the market containing the mega malls for the customers, first and foremost advantage is that the consumers have availability of a wide range of products including imported goods. This facility allows the people to purchase a variety of products willingly, whereas in the local shops, the customers have limited choices. As a result, the standard of living of the people is increasing as compared to the past. For example, the mega malls offer variety of goods at discounted rates, hence the people are benefited by having more goods in their budget. Lastly, the local shop is trying to maintain the monopoly in many towns to get extra benefits, owing to availability of the large shopping mall this monopoly is converted into perfect competitive market. Thus, the large malls play vital role in improving the public lifestyle. On the other hand, such changes bring negative development too. In rural areas the small shops are the backbone of their economy. Due to the arrival of the mega malls, many local shops are thrown out of the market, which creates economic crises to the rural area. As a result, one section of the society has to suffer from unemployment and poverty. Moreover, the mega malls provoke the people to purchase imported products instead of local products, this diverts the people towards the materialism. For instance, many handicraft small scale businesses of rural regions of India have been disappearing due to the mall culture and materialism. Thus, the change in shopping patterns of the people has a detrimental effect on the domestic economy. In conclusion, the shopping habits of the people are influenced by the large shopping malls, which consists of both positive and negative effects. The government has to form policies of the sustainable business opportunity for the small shops.
In recent time, the pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
amongst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are eradicated
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
; they have
been replaced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
in the public’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
preferences. Such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has both bright and dark sides, which will discuss in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
containing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
for the customers,
first
and foremost advantage is that the consumers have availability of a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
including imported
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. This facility
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
willingly
, whereas in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, the customers have limited choices.
As a result
, the standard of living of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is increasing as compared to the past.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
offer variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
at discounted rates,
hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are benefited
by having more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in their budget.
Lastly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
is trying to maintain the monopoly in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
towns to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
extra benefits, owing to availability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
this monopoly
is converted
into perfect competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
play vital role in improving the public lifestyle.

On the other hand
, such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development too. In rural areas the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are the backbone of their economy. Due to the arrival of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are thrown
out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
, which creates economic crises to the rural area.
As a result
, one section of the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
suffer from unemployment and poverty.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
provoke the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, this diverts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards the materialism.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
handicraft
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale businesses of rural regions of India have been disappearing due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
culture and materialism.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
patterns of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has a detrimental effect on the domestic economy.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are influenced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
, which consists of both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
form policies of the sustainable business opportunity for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The bar chart below shows the average monthly maximum temperatures for three Australian cities in the year 2016.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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