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When talking about success, we often think of people who are rich or famous. In your opinion, what are the qualities that characterise a successful person? Why do you think these should be the criteria? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevan v.2

When talking about success, we often think of people who are rich or famous. In your opinion, what are the qualities that characterise a successful person? Why do you think these should be the criteria? 2
Education plays an indispensable role in everyone's life. An individual can acquire education from distinct ways, such as by reading books, newspaper and much more. One of the most controversial issues today leads to that, children should not be allowed to read entertainment books; according to some parents. I am in the favour of this statement. The fact related to this matter will be discussed in upcoming paragraph. To begin with, some people think that if children will read those books then there will be a huge impact on their academic studies. Consequently, children can get distracted from their studies and they will gain, fever marks in academics result. Moreover, children love to read stuffs which are either any action or dramatic story in the books, they get fascinated towards them and start behaving like them. Furthermore, concentration of children can be banished from serious studies which is highly beneficial for them to adapt. Apart from it, children get aggressive when parents not allowed them to read this type of stuff. For example, if parents allowed their child to read such books then they get an addicted towards them. Children find these books interesting and when parents ask them to leave, then they get anger which makes parents think to not let them read those books again. In addition to, parents don't want that their child to be stubborn, but when children get attracted to such stuff once it is hard to make them understand that this is not beneficial. To conclude, children are innocent and adapt new things rapidly. So it is the duty of parents to take care of their children that they have acquired the appropriate knowledge which can be helpful for them in the future.
Education plays an indispensable role in everyone's life. An individual can acquire education from distinct ways, such as by reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, newspaper and much more. One of the most controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
leads to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
; according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. I am in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this statement. The fact related to this matter will
be discussed
in upcoming paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
then there will be a huge impact on their academic studies.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted from their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
studies and
they will gain, fever marks in academics result.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
stuffs which are either any action or dramatic story in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fascinated towards them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
behaving like them.
Furthermore
, concentration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be banished
from serious studies which is
highly
beneficial for them to adapt.

Apart from it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
aggressive when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
this type of stuff.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
their child to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an addicted towards them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
find these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
interesting and when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ask them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
, then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
anger which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
again.

In addition
to,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
don't want that their child to be stubborn,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted to such stuff once it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand that this is not beneficial.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are innocent and adapt new things
rapidly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is the duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that they have acquired the appropriate knowledge which can be helpful for them in the future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay When talking about success, we often think of people who are rich or famous. In your opinion, what are the qualities that characterise a successful person? Why do you think these should be the criteria? 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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