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The line graph below provides the number of international conferences in three cities from 1965 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The line graph below provides the number of international conferences in three cities from 1965 to 2010.
In certain areas, institutions work till late evening. Hence, the parents don't get chaos at their workstation as their children are safe in their classes. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages relating to my viewpoint. On the one hand, it is always better for the mothers and fathers to concentrate on the job without any hindrance with respect to their children pick up time from the school. There are day cares available in most of the institutions after their school period so that the kids can spend their leisure period with the toys in the play area. For example, in India an institution named 'KLAY' has the class timing from morning 7am to 2pm. And, after 2pm the staffs take care of them until their parents reach the venue to escort them to their respective house. Hence, parents feel relaxed in their duties and can plan to reach the venue on time depending upon the traffic from their office. On the other hand, there are certain drawbacks for the children if they don't meet their guardians at the right time. They feel the missing of sharing their discussions with them and henceforth, there will be a definite gap in the communication between them. For instance, according to a survey in Japan, the guardians work late after reaching home and they don't share their happiness with their kids which results an unhealthy relationship among them. In conclusion, there are benefits for the parents as they can decide the period to leave from the job area depending upon the traffic to reach the school. However, there are multiple drawbacks as the pupils don't receive proper guidance from their parents as they are busy with their work.
In certain areas, institutions work till late evening.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chaos at their workstation as their children are safe in their classes. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages relating to my viewpoint.

On the one hand, it is always better for the mothers and fathers to concentrate on the job without any hindrance with respect to their children pick up time from the school. There are day cares available in most of the institutions after their school period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the kids can spend their leisure period with the toys in the play area.
For example
, in India an institution named '
Possible spelling mistake found.
KLAY
' has the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
timing from morning 7am to 2pm. And, after 2pm the staffs take care of them until their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
reach the venue to escort them to their respective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
feel relaxed in their duties and can plan to reach the venue on time depending upon the traffic from their office.

On the other hand
, there are certain drawbacks for the children if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their guardians at the right time. They feel the missing of sharing their discussions with them and henceforth, there will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
gap in the communication between them.
For instance
, according to a survey in Japan, the guardians work late after reaching
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
home and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
share their happiness with their kids which results an unhealthy relationship among them.

In conclusion
, there are benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as they can decide the period to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
from the job area depending upon the traffic to reach the school.
However
, there are multiple drawbacks as the pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
receive proper guidance from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as they are busy with their work.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay The line graph below provides the number of international conferences in three cities from 1965 to 2010.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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