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The line graph below gives information about the rates of unemployment between 1991 and 2005 in three different countries in Europe. The table shows the percentage of men and women in the workforce in these three countries. v.2

The line graph below gives information about the rates of unemployment between 1991 and 2005 in three different countries in Europe. The table shows the percentage of men and women in the workforce in these three countries. v. 2
There are a lot of opinions about giving a task to children, and some of them felt it was very tiring. However, in my opinion, homework is unnecessary and useless. In this essay, I will delve into both views and determine my choice whether it is useful. First and foremost, doing exercise is crucial for children. The main reason for work to exist is to develop independent learning habit and problem-solving skill, as children would do their tasks alone and at their own pace. Therefore, students are required to apply knowledge from class to solve the problems, for example doing mathematics, or science experiments. In some parents’ views, their children can develop an independent study habit by doing the tasks as the work is done by the students’ themselves. On the other side of the arguments, I support the view that exercise is an unnecessary burden on youths. Providing that the assignments do nothing to improve educational outcomes, we should take developed countries like Finland, for instance, where school children are not given homework, top international education league tables, and outperform nations where setting the tasks is the norm. Besides, people concern that giving the lecture to students is just too much work after a hard-working day of studying, which they deserve a break. It is true that there is a fact that play time is just as beneficial as study time from the perspective of brain development. In conclusion, homework is a mandatory tool for students to enhance self-study skills; however, it is not suitable for children’s future development, especially when life is keep getting better and better
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opinions about giving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them felt it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tiring.
However
, in my opinion, homework is unnecessary and useless. In this essay, I will delve into both views and determine my choice whether it is useful.

First
and foremost, doing exercise is crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The main reason for work to exist is to develop independent learning habit and problem-solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
alone and at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are required
to apply knowledge from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to solve the problems,
for example
doing mathematics, or science experiments. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents’ views, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can develop an independent study habit by doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
as the work
is done
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
themselves.

On the other side of the arguments, I support the view that exercise is an unnecessary burden on youths. Providing that the assignments do nothing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
educational outcomes, we should take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
like Finland,
for instance
, where school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
homework, top international education league tables, and outperform nations where setting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
is the norm.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
concern that giving the lecture to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
too much work after a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working day of studying, which they deserve a break. It is true that there is a fact that play time is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as beneficial as study time from the perspective of brain development.

In conclusion
, homework is a mandatory tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enhance self-study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
;
however
, it is not suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
future development,
especially
when life is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
getting better and better
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The line graph below gives information about the rates of unemployment between 1991 and 2005 in three different countries in Europe. The table shows the percentage of men and women in the workforce in these three countries. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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