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The chart below shows the percentage of unemployed people aged between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005 compared with the overall percentage of unemployment in those countries Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main featu v.1

The chart below shows the percentage of unemployed people aged between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005 compared with the overall percentage of unemployment in those countries
Some people think, having enormous money is the key factor to be happy in life. However, there are many reasons why they have the notion, although there are other things as well which can give people a pleasant life. In general, you can keep your family as well as yourself in comfort if you have a colossal amount of wealth. Firstly, you will be able to build a decent house that is well- equipped with all modern amenities, which is needed to live comfortably and lavishly. Secondly, all kinds of delicacies are feasible to be purchased and tasted at home or in the restaurants, which means you will not have to worry about the food, which is one of the causes of the plight for many people worldwide. Besides, other basic needs such as proper education and good medical treatments are ensured by having a handsome account- balance in the bank. Nevertheless, Being wealthy is not the only thing that can make you satisfied forever. To have a well- balanced life, there is no alternative to having a healthy relationship, which might be with parents, siblings or spouse. Because without the people you care about, you might still feel incomplete. Furthermore, little will you enjoy your affluence unless you have support as well as the love of your dearest ones. In conclusion, wealth has the ability to make everyone happier by providing with all the essential items and luxury that they need. Notwithstanding, an adorable relationship is also as significant as a good balance in the bank account. Therefore, we should take care of both of them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, having enormous money is the key factor to be happy in life.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why they have the notion, although there are other things as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
which can give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a pleasant life.

In general
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your family as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as yourself in comfort if you have a colossal amount of wealth.
Firstly
, you will be able to build a decent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-
equipped with all modern amenities, which
is needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
comfortably
and
lavishly
.
Secondly
, all kinds of delicacies are feasible to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
and tasted at home or in the restaurants, which means you will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about the food, which is one of the causes of the plight for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worldwide.
Besides
, other basic needs such as proper education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
medical treatments
are ensured
by having a handsome account- balance in the bank.

Nevertheless
, Being wealthy is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you satisfied forever. To have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-
balanced life, there is no alternative to having a healthy relationship, which might be with parents, siblings or spouse.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
you care about, you might
still
feel incomplete.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
will you enjoy your affluence unless you have support as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of your dearest ones.

In conclusion
, wealth has the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
everyone happier by providing with all the essential items and luxury that they need. Notwithstanding, an adorable relationship is
also
as significant as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
balance in the bank account.
Therefore
, we should take care of both of them.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below shows the percentage of unemployed people aged between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005 compared with the overall percentage of unemployment in those countries

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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