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food travels thousand of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think that it would be better to our environment and economy if people only eat local produce food. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

food travels thousand of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think that it would be better to our environment and economy if people only eat local produce food. v. 1
Globally, the need for the consumption of meal in increasing. This essay will discuss the main reason for more demand on, meal on the upsurge in the population. This essay will further, outline that this problem can be solved by introducing family planning schemes by the government. The principle cause for the increment in demand of meals is the surging population. This is to say, countries are facing problems with the increase in the birth rate. The more the number of people, the more will be the requirement of foodstuff for feeding. As a result, this puts a lot of pressure on the countries to allocate a huge amount of funds in the production of foodstuff. To elucidate, a recent study conducted by The Times showed that many metropolitan countries allocate more than 80 percent of funds in producing meals for feeding millions of people. The most feasible solution for the above mentioned problem is introducing family planning for people. In other words, the government should motivate and educate people through various campaigns and seminars for not having more than 2 children. As more the children will be born, more will be the need for food. Through these programs, people will be encouraged to have less children, thus reducing the people and food demand. To exemplify, a recent study conducted by The New York Times showed that more than 60 percent of countries are organising programs to influence people to opt for family planning. To conclude, the primary reason for increment in food consumption is the rise in society, however, the most viable solution to this problem is to educate people about the advantages of family planning.
Globally, the need for the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
in increasing. This essay will discuss the main reason for more demand on,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
on the upsurge in the population. This essay will
further
, outline that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be solved
by introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
planning schemes by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

The
Did you mean "principal" (=main)?
principle
cause for the increment in demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
is the surging population. This is to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with the increase in the birth rate. The more the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the more will be the requirement of foodstuff for feeding.
As a result
, this puts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to allocate a huge amount of funds in the production of foodstuff. To elucidate, a recent study conducted by The Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
allocate more than 80 percent of funds in producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
for feeding millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The most feasible solution for the above mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
planning for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should motivate and educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through various campaigns and seminars for not having more than 2 children. As more the children will
be born
, more will be the need for food. Through these programs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be encouraged
to have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun children is countable.
less
children,
thus
reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and food demand. To exemplify, a recent study conducted by The New York Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that more than 60 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
programs to influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
planning.

To conclude
, the primary reason for increment in food consumption is the rise in society,
however
, the most viable solution to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
planning.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay food travels thousand of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think that it would be better to our environment and economy if people only eat local produce food. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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