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The line chart shows the average annual growth rates during selected periods, selected based on data availability, for population growth, energy growth, and real GDP growth between 1820 and 2010. v.1

The line chart shows the average annual growth rates during selected periods, selected based on data availability, for population growth, energy growth, and real GDP growth between 1820 and 2010. v. 1
It is true that our information or collected by we join a new place like a job, school, college, scientific researches and even for business purposes. Although few people support this sharing of personal data, many critics cite that not all information is safe to disclose. This essay would analyse these two norms and will cite my opinion in the given paragraph. On the one hand, sharing all information to certain sectors like science and education brings enormous benefits. Provision of all information for scientific research may result in new scientific innovations, which would be life-saving for many human beings. For example, if initial victims of its showed an unwillingness to disclose their identity, race, location, age and other personal details, It would be nearly impossible to tackle the widespread of that life-threatening disease. This shows that details of personal data enabled the scientific research to tackle pandemic diseases worldwide. Similarly, it can be evident that all details of children in the academic field ensure better school and safer atmosphere for kids at school. In the UK, for instance, schools and college have all identification all information regarding children, which eight the government to allocate me at school for them, so that school going kids can easily reach school without opting for any forms of transportation. In addition to this, school also have full records of children, including alleging details deceased condition etc. , and therefore the government could give extra care for the needy ones. The negative implication of sharing all data or open discussed in terms of one key issue, my practice of a personal identity. Even though all information about us are gathered in a highly secure software, it is often seen that data are hacked and our identity may be misused especially in business firms. Hence, I am of the opinion that we should be careful while sharing our information to a third person. Certain areas like economic and scientific research may not pose much that the hacking, and I reckon that we should provide all details to help our nation progress. Whereas, for business purpose it is unreasonable to provide our personal details, and hence we should not disclose it to them. To conclude, I have shown that we should be responsible for our own identity, I will data sharing should be done after analysing the purpose of data collection. If with our information the government could effectively respond to emergency health pandemic diseases, we should disclose it for the benefit of the country
It is true that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
or collected by we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a new place like a job,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, college,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
and even for business purposes. Although few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
critics cite that not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is safe to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disclose
. This essay would
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
these two norms and will cite my opinion in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
paragraph.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to certain sectors like science and education brings enormous benefits. Provision of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
may result in new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
innovations, which would be life-saving for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
human beings.
For example
, if initial victims of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an unwillingness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disclose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
, race, location, age and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
, It would be
nearly
impossible to tackle
The phrase 'the widespread of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the widespread of
that life-threatening disease. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
enabled the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
to tackle pandemic diseases worldwide.

Similarly
, it can be evident that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
of children in the academic field ensure better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and safer atmosphere for kids at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In the UK,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and college have all identification all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
regarding children, which eight the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to allocate me at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
going kids can
easily
reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
without opting for any forms of transportation.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
also
have full records of children, including alleging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
deceased condition etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
and
therefore
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could give extra care for the needy ones.

The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implication of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
or open discussed in terms of one key issue, my practice of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
.
Even though
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about us
are gathered
in a
highly
secure software, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
are hacked
and our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
may
be misused
especially
in business firms.
Hence
, I am of the opinion that we should be careful while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to a third person. Certain areas like economic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
may not pose much that the hacking, and I reckon that we should provide all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our nation progress. Whereas, for business purpose it is unreasonable to provide our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
, and
hence
we should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disclose
it to them.

To conclude
, I have shown that we should be responsible for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
, I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
should
be done
after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
collection. If with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could
effectively
respond to emergency health pandemic diseases, we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disclose
it for the benefit of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
country
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay The line chart shows the average annual growth rates during selected periods, selected based on data availability, for population growth, energy growth, and real GDP growth between 1820 and 2010. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
418 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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