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The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.13

The internet has greatly increased our access to information. v. 13
In the past, the way of reaching most kinds of data was limited. Gathering information can only be done by the local resources for example, library and school. However, as the time pass by, communication system was developed, the local community can now be able to share their knowledge with the world. This essay will provide two reasons why this situation is not a bad think. First of all, getting educated is a lot easier due to the convenience for accessing various types of learning materials. For instance, studying before required students to go to a library for an extra education. Learning now, however, can be achieved by watching an online lesson, providing a diversity of fact. Doing an online assignment and hand it in to the teacher is another good example of the internet for an education system. Working in some organizations that involved data sharing such as writer, researcher, or news reporter with lesser limits are another feature of the internet. Most occupations can now work remotely despite their traditional ways of working. For example, writers can publish their book toward the e-book platform, news can be reported in a form of video rather than newspaper. The Internet has a huge impact to our daily life which we can’t deny. Different ways of living have been improved since we are able to share our thoughts to others with different backgrounds. Whether will the internet be a good thing or not, it is up to how we are using it, with good or bad purpose.
In the past, the way of reaching most kinds of data
was limited
. Gathering information can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be done
by the local resources
for example
, library and school.
However
, as the time pass by, communication system
was developed
, the local community can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be able to share their knowledge with the world. This essay will provide two reasons why this situation is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, getting educated is a lot easier due to the convenience for accessing various types of learning materials.
For instance
, studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
required students to go to a library for an extra education. Learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
however
, can
be achieved
by watching an online lesson, providing a diversity of fact. Doing an online assignment and hand it in to the teacher is another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of the internet for an education system.

Working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
organizations that involved data sharing such as writer, researcher, or news reporter with lesser limits are another feature of the internet. Most occupations can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
work
remotely
despite their traditional ways of working.
For example
, writers can publish their book toward the e-book platform, news can
be reported
in a form of video
rather
than newspaper.

The Internet has a huge impact to our daily life which we can’t deny.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
ways of living have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
since we are able to share our thoughts to others with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds. Whether will the internet be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing or not, it is up to how we are using it, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
purpose.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay The internet has greatly increased our access to information. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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