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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v.11

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v. 11
Since the invention of social media, many people have been better able to connect with each other and also to keep up to date with the lives of their friends, families, co-workers and even celebrities, to such a degree which was previously impossible. However, social media has its risks. As people of all ages have access to social media, children can be exposed to adult content, and are themselves vulnerable to be approached by strangers with unknown intentions. Even if children are sure of who they're talking to on social media, social media's issues are not completely eliminated. Cyber bullying is frequently reported in the news, and occurs on social media among children and school children. This is problematic, as it means even when children are at home, remote from their bullies they can still be bullied when they're inside their own homes. Social media can be problematic for adults, too. People often feel comfortable posting things on social media that they wouldn't say in real life. This can indirectly cause a bad impression on other people, and if employers judge the nature of the content prospective employees post on social media to be inappropriate, it can affect their chances of attaining or keeping jobs. As long as people are aware of the risks of using social media, and are careful to post only respectful and respectable content, then the advantages of social media far outweigh the disadvantages, and children and adults alike should be allowed to benefit from such technology.
Since the invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been better able to connect with each other and
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up to date with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of their friends, families, co-workers and even celebrities, to such a degree which was previously impossible.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all ages have access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be exposed
to adult content, and are themselves vulnerable to
be approached
by strangers with unknown intentions. Even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are sure of
In a formal text, use "whom", not 'who'.
who
they're talking to on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media's issues are not completely eliminated.
This word is normally spelled as one.
Cyber bullying
is
frequently
reported in the news, and occurs on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This is problematic, as it means even when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are at home, remote from their bullies they can
still
be bullied
when they're inside their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
homes.

Social
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media
can be problematic for adults, too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel comfortable posting things on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
that they wouldn't say in real life. This can
indirectly
cause a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impression on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and if employers judge the nature of the content prospective employees post on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to be inappropriate, it can affect their chances of attaining or keeping jobs.

As long as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, and are careful to post
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
respectful and respectable content, then the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
far outweigh the disadvantages, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and adults alike should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to benefit from such technology.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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