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The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. v.6

The internet has greatly increased our access to information. v. 6
Nowadays, world wide web has become our only source for information. Some people argue that easy access to information badly affect our social life. While others tend to believe that the internet is the single biggest driving force pushing improvements to our life. In this essay, I am going to discuss both sides of the argument and explain my support for the former view. One of the biggest argument against this easy availability of information is its' addictive nature. This is an undeniable fact that people nowadays spend huge amount of time on the internet for mostly social networking and entertainment. For example, the facebook has more than 1 billion users with an average time engagement of 2 hours per day. This results in, serious loss of productivity, because the same time could have been spent on some better activity like exercising, studying or working. However, this problem can be tackled with some initiatives by internet companies like allowing limited time usage for every user. On the other hand, the most significant impact of the internet is knowledge sharing and emergence of collaborative ideas from researchers across the globe. For example, joint research between two scientist of two different countries is not only possible, but also very common nowadays. Furthermore, internet allows people to share important moments with their loved ones who may be on the other side of globe. As a result, people feel a lot more connected with their family. In conclusion, while there are few drawbacks with ease of information like unfruitful usage of time, these must be weighted against the benefits like collaborative research and easy communication. Personally, I feel these benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
Nowadays,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
has become our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that easy access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
badly
affect our social life.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others tend to believe that the internet is the single biggest driving force pushing improvements to our life. In this essay, I am going to discuss both sides of the argument and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my support for the former view.

One of the biggest argument against this easy availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
An apostrophe is never used to form possessive case pronouns. Did you mean: "its"?
its'
addictive nature. This is an undeniable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays spend huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the internet for
mostly
social networking and entertainment.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
has more than 1 billion users with an average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
engagement of 2 hours per day. This results in, serious loss of productivity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
could have
been spent
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
better activity like exercising, studying or working.
However
, this problem can
be tackled
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
initiatives by internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like allowing limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
usage for every user.

On the other hand
, the most significant impact of the internet is knowledge sharing and emergence of collaborative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
from researchers across the globe.
For example
, joint research between two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'scientist' seems to be countable, so consider using: "scientists".
scientist
of two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common nowadays.
Furthermore
, internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
moments with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones who may be on the other side of globe.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel a lot more connected with their family.

In conclusion
, while there are few drawbacks with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
like unfruitful usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be weighted
against the benefits like collaborative research and easy communication.
Personally
, I feel these benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay The internet has greatly increased our access to information. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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