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Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v.6

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v. 6
International brands and big businesses have large amounts of funding which they use for advertising and attracting customers to buy their products from all over the world. As a result, local businesses and shops are finding it difficult to make sales and their income is decreasing. This can be overcome by government restrictions on false advertising and providing of funds for local businesses which would help them flourish. The main problem of buying things from big businesses is that people spend a lot of money unnecessarily on products they do not really need due to the attractive marketing skills the businesses possess. The advertisements lure both the young and the old alike into purchasing items, especially children who become demanding by watching these advertising on television. Furthermore, by spending extravagantly on international brands, people go into debt competing against who has got the latest products and equipment which is quite detrimental to the society. Moreover, local businesses suffer the consequences of the high demand of people buying foreign things. In order to promote the selling of local products, governments must help them by funding and creating awareness of the existence of such products. For example, billboards and posters showing how locally made products are environmentally friendly and how waste is reduced would attract customers to switch from large businesses to local ones. In addition, local products must be made sturdy and quality must increase to keep customers coming back to purchase more. In conclusion, large businesses must be banned from false advertising and creating illusions to stop people from spending wastefully. The small local businesses must thrive to attend to the needs of the people by providing good quality, reasonably priced and personalised service to attract and maintain sales.
International brands and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
have large amounts of funding which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for advertising and attracting customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from all over the world.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and shops are finding it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sales and their income is decreasing. This can
be overcome
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
restrictions on false advertising and providing of funds for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them flourish.

The main problem of buying things from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money
unnecessarily
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
they do not
really
need due to the attractive marketing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
possess. The advertisements lure both the young and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
alike into purchasing items,
especially
children who become demanding by watching these advertising on television.
Furthermore
, by spending
extravagantly
on international brands,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go into debt competing against who has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and equipment which is quite detrimental to the society.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
suffer the consequences of the high demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
buying foreign things.

In order to promote the selling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them by funding and creating awareness of the existence of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
, billboards and posters showing how
locally
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
environmentally
friendly and how waste is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
would attract customers to switch from large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ones.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be made
sturdy and quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
increase to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
customers coming back to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
more.

In conclusion
, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be banned
from false advertising and creating illusions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from spending
wastefully
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
thrive to attend to the needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality,
reasonably
priced and
Possible spelling mistake. 'personalised' is British English.
personalised
service to attract and maintain sales.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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