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The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before what do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap v.2

The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before what do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap v. 2
The difference between rich and poor countries is proliferating by every passing day. Developed nations are becoming more rich and developing countries are still fighting with basic challenges. There are numerous reasons of this inequality. However, there are enormous measures available to improve the situation. The most prominent reason is an ever-increased population. For instance, in last two decades population has just doubled in India and due to this the government is unable to fulfil fundamental needs of people and resulting poverty. In addition, natural resources are also declining because of population growth and making scenario more deplorable for poor nations. Moreover, illiteracy could also be considered as another prime reason as many people who are uneducated, unable to secure jobs and could not provide any contribution to country’s economy. Finally, corruption came out as another challenge as due to higher level of corruption in politics and business, government services are unable to reach to the general mass. However, all these issue are interrelated and governments and individuals could play substantial role to reduce the gap. Firstly, it is important to educate people about the consequences of population growth especially in rural areas through adverts and campaign. Secondly, Governments and local bodies ought to impose strict laws against corruption and should make tough punishments to regulate the same. Lastly, developed nations should come forward together to provide essentials aids to poor nations by helping them financially. To conclude, it is very intrinsic to address this issue before it is too late. Hence, with the collective efforts of local governments and international bodies I believe, we could minimize the gap and circumstances better for poor countries.
The difference between rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is proliferating by every passing day. Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are becoming more rich and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
still
fighting with basic challenges. There are numerous reasons of this inequality.
However
, there are enormous measures available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation.

The most prominent reason is an ever-increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.
For instance
, in last two decades
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
doubled in India and due to this the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is unable to fulfil fundamental needs of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and resulting poverty.
In addition
, natural resources are
also
declining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth and making scenario more deplorable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Moreover
, illiteracy could
also
be considered
as another prime reason as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are uneducated
, unable to secure jobs and could not provide any contribution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy.
Finally
, corruption came out as another challenge as due to higher level of corruption in politics and business,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
services are unable to reach to the general mass.

However
, all
Did you mean "this issue" or "these issues"?
these issue
are interrelated
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and individuals could play substantial role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the gap.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth
especially
in rural areas through adverts and campaign.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
and local bodies ought to impose strict laws against corruption and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
tough punishments to regulate the same.
Lastly
, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward together to provide essentials aids to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
by helping them
financially
.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
intrinsic to address this issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it is too late.
Hence
, with the collective efforts of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and international bodies I believe, we could minimize the gap and circumstances better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before what do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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