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The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in sea What are the reasons and solutions v.2

The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in sea What are the reasons and solutions v. 2
It is true that myriads of terrestrial and marine animals are on the verge of extinction due to human beings. My essay will shed light on the causes and measures to this issue. It goes without saying that human beings is to blame for the mass extinction of animals. First and foremost, inhabitants are discharging wastes and middens directly into the sea. For example, in 2016, vietnam witnessed a marine life disaster which is triggered by local ppl dumping domestically waste illegally into the ocean through underground channels. This practice not only contaminated ground water but also leads to the shrinking habitat of several marine creatures. Another reason is that human beings are exploiting natural resources to make way for concrete jungle, which poses a great threat to the natural habitat of animals. To be more specific, ppl has been taking land for buildings and farmings to serves the purpose of urbanization, which comes at the expense of the deforestation and. If uncontrollable destruction of habitats keeps happening, wild animals will have no room to neither survive nor breed, so the worst case scenario, which is mass extinction, could be expected. Having said that, feasible measures can be taken to curb animal extinction. First, each government should levy exorbitant fines on devastating behaviors such as littering, illegal dumping or other environmental offences. The implementation of stringent laws, accompanied by extensive media coverage of the issue would raise environmental awareness among all sections of the society. Second, international organizations such as the United Nations should coordinate activities among member countries as well as encourage participation by the private sector to promote sustainable use of the world’s natural resources. Specifically, the presence of such inter-governmental organizations plays a major role in initiating negotiations on reducing industrial pollution level or other toxic waste. In short, the blame for the most recent mass extinction is not natural calamities - it’s human. Therefore, several solutions need to be done to tackle this worrying trend and save endangered species from the brink of extinction.
It is true that myriads of terrestrial and marine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are on the verge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. My essay will shed light on the causes and measures to this issue.

It goes without saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings is to blame for the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
First
and foremost, inhabitants are discharging wastes and middens
directly
into the sea.
For example
, in 2016,
Possible spelling mistake found.
vietnam
witnessed a marine life disaster which
is triggered
by local
Possible spelling mistake found.
ppl
dumping
domestically
waste
illegally
into the ocean through underground channels. This practice not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contaminated ground water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
leads to the shrinking habitat of several marine creatures. Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings are exploiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for concrete jungle, which poses a great threat to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
habitat of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. To be more specific,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ppl
has been taking land for buildings and farmings to serves the purpose of urbanization, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
at the expense of the deforestation and. If uncontrollable destruction of habitats
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
happening, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
will have no room to neither survive nor breed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the worst case scenario, which is mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
, could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.

Having said that, feasible measures can
be taken
to curb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
.
First
, each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should levy exorbitant fines on devastating behaviors such as littering, illegal dumping or other environmental
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
. The implementation of stringent laws, accompanied by extensive media coverage of the issue would raise environmental awareness among all sections of the society. Second, international organizations such as the United Nations should coordinate activities among member countries
as well
as encourage participation by the private sector to promote sustainable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources.
Specifically
, the presence of such inter-governmental organizations plays a major role in initiating negotiations on reducing industrial pollution level or other toxic waste.

In short, the blame for the most recent mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
calamities
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
it’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
Therefore
, several solutions need to
be done
to tackle this worrying trend and save endangered species from the brink of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in sea What are the reasons and solutions v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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