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The economic imbalance between rich and poor nations is now more extended than it has ever been before What do you think are the main reasons for this difference and what do you think can be done to overcome the gap Give reasons for your answer and includ v.1

The economic imbalance between rich and poor nations is now more extended than it has ever been before What do you think are the main reasons for this difference and what do you think can be done to overcome the gap 1
Much debate has arisen as to whether buying and using cars is a positive trend. While it may lead to rich rewards, it is also certain that there are many drawbacks. This essay will discuss both positions and I will conclude with my personal opinion. From one side of the debate, it has been argued that the increase of individuals’ cars is more likely to minimize their inconvenience during their travel; they often face problems such as limited to fixed routes and timetables. As a consequence, it can be seen that people using their own cars become calmer and more relaxed on the trip. Meanwhile, the advocates of the proposition that there are more drawbacks to having own cars. This is because when driving cars in a variety of public avenues, it leads to serious pollution, having an impact on body functions. A well-known example of this can be witnessed by the fact that Beijing, one of the biggest cities in China have been having air pollution consist of roughly 60 percent of the dust. Furthermore, the most significant argument that should not be overlooked is that using their own cars can lead to heavy traffic congestion, which is mainly because of the fact they are many drivers in the city at midnight. From the recent survey of ABC, it redefines the fact that those who chose the reality that there are more at midnight are ten times more than people who chose there are not. In short, my perspective is that although there is a greater advantage of owning cars, its drawbacks, causing not only environmental but also health issues outweigh its advantages in which people can avoid congestions.
Much debate has arisen
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
buying and using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend. While it may lead to rich rewards, it is
also
certain that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks. This essay will discuss both positions and I will conclude with my personal opinion.

From one side of the debate, it has
been argued
that the increase of individuals’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is more likely to minimize their inconvenience during their travel; they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
face problems such as limited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
routes and timetables. As a consequence, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
become calmer and more relaxed on the trip.

Meanwhile, the advocates of the proposition that there are more drawbacks to having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in a variety of public avenues, it leads to serious pollution, having an impact on body functions. A well-known example of this can
be witnessed
by the fact that Beijing, one of the biggest cities in China have been having air pollution consist of roughly 60 percent of the dust.

Furthermore
, the most significant argument that should not
be overlooked
is that using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can lead to heavy traffic congestion, which is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the fact they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drivers in the city at midnight. From the recent survey of ABC, it redefines the fact that those who chose the reality that there are more at midnight are ten times more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who chose there are not.

In short, my perspective is that although there is a greater advantage of owning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, its drawbacks, causing not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
environmental
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
health issues outweigh its advantages in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can avoid congestions.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The economic imbalance between rich and poor nations is now more extended than it has ever been before What do you think are the main reasons for this difference and what do you think can be done to overcome the gap 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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