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It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers Therefore physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools What do you think v.2

It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers Therefore physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools What do you think v. 2
It is argued by many that sports and physical education would be beneficial for students if made compulsary. In my opinion, it is a tremendous idea to encourage children for regular exercise as it brings many positive outcomes for them. To begin, in today' s competitive environment, children are dedicating majority of their time to study. Eventually, they are not much involved in outdoor activities and such lifestyle has adverse effect on their health. Moreover, during leisure time, children are rather occupied either with gadgets or watching television, which is making situation more deplorable. Therefore, if they would get to learn sports or exercise in school then it would bring many health benefits and make them healthier and physically fit. Apart from health benefits, another advantage of having extra-curricular activities is good social behavior. For example, indulgence towards sports would mould student' s persona to mingle with students of different background and make new friends. As a result, they would not feel aloof and enhance their social bonding. Nonetheless, there is a probability that too much involvement might distract students from study and impact their academic results. However, by incorporating strict guidlines such problems could be handled effectively. To conclude, I believe that extra-curricular activities are as essential in student' s lives as academic knowledge. Hence, from pupil' s perspective this should be considered as advantageous step and should be given high priority
It
is argued
by
many
that sports and physical education would be beneficial for
students
if made
compulsary
. In my opinion, it is a tremendous
idea
to encourage children for regular exercise as it brings
many
positive
outcomes for them.

To
begin
, in
today&
#039; s competitive environment, children are dedicating
majority of
their time to study.
Eventually
, they are not much involved in outdoor activities and such lifestyle has adverse effect on their health.
Moreover
, during leisure time, children are
rather
occupied either with gadgets or watching television, which is making situation more deplorable.
Therefore
, if they would
get
to learn sports or exercise in school then it would bring
many
health benefits and
make
them healthier and
physically
fit.

Apart from health benefits, another advantage of having extra-curricular activities is
good
social behavior.
For example
, indulgence towards sports would
mould
student&
#039; s persona to mingle with
students
of
different
background and
make
new friends.
As a result
, they would not feel aloof and enhance their social bonding. Nonetheless, there is a probability that too much involvement might distract
students
from study and impact their academic results.
However
, by incorporating strict
guidlines
such problems could
be handled
effectively
.

To conclude
, I believe that extra-curricular activities are as essential in
student&
#039; s
lives
as academic knowledge.
Hence
, from
pupil&
#039; s perspective this should
be considered
as advantageous step and should be
given
high priority
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers Therefore physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools What do you think v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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