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According to those im the travel business the nature of the average holiday is changing Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far away place ppl now want excitement on their holidays Opinions v.2

According to those im the travel business the nature of the average holiday is changing Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far away place ppl now want excitement on their holidays Opinions v. 2
Truth be told, ppl are having novel idea about enjoying holiday. Instead of unwinding or escaping from the crowd, inhabitants tend to seek something out of ordinary when they have time to break. Personally, i believe that ppl can take joy in both ways of relaxing due to its distinctive merits, which will be outlined below. On the one hand, it goes without saying that getting of the beaten track on holidays is the key to ease tension. To be more specific, the hustle and bustle of life coerces inhabitants into living in a hectic pace, so a degree of isolation is the most optimized way to recharge batteries. For example, if employees failed to reduce stress levels, their work performance would be badly affected. Therefore, it is crucial for a number of commuters who are always inundated with deadlines to escape the crowd once in a while. On the other hand, it is a foregone conclusion that spending holiday entitlement on exotic places that fill with excitements and challenges is a necessary part of life for a multitude of citizens. In other words, as sedentary life prevents human from improving physical performance, dwellers should take advantage of the annual break to exert themselves with a hive of activities, such as hiking, surfing and the like. Not only does arduous journey does wonders for ppl’s physical health but also ease their mind from the constant stream of work. In my opinion, each style of enjoying holidays fits for a different group of ppl. For example, seniors would put peace and seclusion on top priority when assessing criteria for a holiday of a lifetime as they devoted their whole life to explore every corner of the world, whereas, young ppl have a tendency to not only find sense of adventure in every journey but also push themselves to the limit with a wide range of extreme sports, so as to test every taste of life before getting old. In conclusion, old and new methods of holiday have their own followers.
Truth be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ppl
are having novel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
.
Instead
of unwinding or escaping from the crowd, inhabitants tend to seek something out of ordinary when they have time to break.
Personally
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
ppl
can take joy in both ways of relaxing due to its distinctive merits, which will
be outlined
below.

On the one hand, it goes without saying that getting of the beaten
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
is the key to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
tension. To be more specific, the hustle and bustle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
coerces inhabitants into living in a hectic pace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
a degree of isolation is the most optimized way to recharge batteries.
For example
, if employees failed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
levels, their work performance would be
badly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
Therefore
, it is crucial for a number of commuters who are always inundated with deadlines to escape the crowd once in a while.

On the other hand
, it is a foregone conclusion that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
entitlement on exotic places that fill with excitements and challenges is a necessary part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for a multitude of citizens.
In other words
, as sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
human from improving physical performance, dwellers should take advantage of the annual break to exert themselves with a hive of activities, such as hiking, surfing and the like. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does arduous journey
Did you mean "do"?
does
wonders for
Possible spelling mistake found.
ppl
’s physical health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
their mind from the constant stream of work.

In my opinion, each style of enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
fits for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
group of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ppl
.
For example
, seniors would put peace and seclusion on top priority when assessing criteria for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
of a lifetime as they devoted their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to explore every corner of the world, whereas, young
Possible spelling mistake found.
ppl
have a tendency to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
find sense of adventure in every journey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
push themselves to the limit with a wide range of extreme sports,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
every taste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and new methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
followers.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay According to those im the travel business the nature of the average holiday is changing Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far away place ppl now want excitement on their holidays Opinions v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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