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The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience v.4

The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones? 4
It's an undeniable fact that, transformation of lives in business and communication has gone beyond the leaves and bounds due to the technological advancements in mobile phone developments in the recent past years. I strongly believe that merits definitely outweighs some demerits like social and the health issues. This essay will elucidate the causes and the solutions in the forthcoming paragraphs. To embark on the advantages of this, communication between people has become so easy with the advanced mobile phone usage, which eventually made the business transactions transparent and clear. After the mobile phone and the communications satellite launch, people are able to communicate each other over wireless technology, develop e-commerce businesses and several enterprise applications. And, this growth is very rapid in the recent past years. For example, the mobile phone users across the globe are increased by 80 percent in the last decade, which is a direct sign of user adoption and advantages. On the contrary, like every coin has its flip side, an increase in mobile phone usage also has its own disadvantages. To list a few, Firstly, excessive usage of mobile phone is causing several health issues like brain disorder and weakening eyesight due to radiation, laziness due to the availability of several online apps for food and shopping. Secondly, social interaction between people has drastically come down after mobile phone invention. For instance, on an average each user is spending approximately 5 hours in a day, either talking to someone or social networking. Moreover, 10 percent of medical cases recorded are showing the mobile usage as a primary cause. To summarize, Even though, there are some disadvantages like health and social life impacts with the mobile phone usage. Advantages like bringing the world together with increased business and personal communication are always outweighing the disadvantages. However, the demerits can be overcome by limiting the usage of mobile phones as and when needed.
It's an undeniable fact that, transformation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has gone beyond the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
and bounds due to the technological advancements in mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
developments in the recent past years. I
strongly
believe that merits definitely outweighs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and the health issues. This essay will elucidate the causes and the solutions in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To embark on the advantages of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy with the advanced mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
, which
eventually
made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
transactions transparent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
. After the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and the communications satellite launch,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to communicate each other over wireless technology, develop e-commerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and several enterprise applications. And, this growth is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapid in the recent past years.
For example
, the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
users across the globe
are increased
by 80 percent in the last decade, which is a direct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of user adoption and advantages.

On the contrary
, like every coin has its flip side, an increase in mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
also
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
disadvantages. To list a few,
Firstly
, excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is causing several health issues like brain disorder and weakening eyesight due to radiation, laziness due to the availability of several online apps for food and shopping.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
down after mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
invention.
For instance
, on an average each user is spending approximately 5 hours in a day, either talking to someone or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking.
Moreover
, 10 percent of medical cases recorded are showing the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
as a primary cause.

To summarize
,
Even though
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages like health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life impacts with the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
. Advantages like bringing the world together with increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
are always outweighing the disadvantages.
However
, the demerits can
be overcome
by limiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
as and when needed.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones? 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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