Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society. v.2

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society. v. 2
In today’s world, our lives are submerged in the development of mass media. An abundant media society can bring many benefits but also cause several drawbacks to our life. The first advantage of multimedia is that it enables us to approach quickly the information we need. For example, with plenty of newspaper online, we can find no difficulty to figure out what is going on in the US or how people live in China. On the other hand, by dint of the booming of media, now, we have more opportunities to watch many spectacular shows or programs, which can help us to entertain in our free time. Moreover, thanks to social media, the connection now has been easier than ever and we can communicate unlimited to our friends or partners. Nevertheless, mass media can affect negatively to people’s lives. As a result of overwhelming information on media, which is not always reliable, we can sometimes become misleading and not aware of what is the right thing. For instance, due to the incorrect information about toxins in grapefruits on some newspaper online, many farmers have suffered a lot of loss and damages recently. In addition, people may be keen on watching the shows or programs all the time and do not spend their time on outdoor activities like sports, which will be not beneficial for their health. In conclusion, it is obvious that we are surrounded by media everywhere but we should find the balance between the media and our real lives to avoid the detrimental effects of this.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
are submerged
in the development of mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. An abundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
society can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
cause several drawbacks to our life.

The
first
advantage of multimedia is that it enables us to approach
quickly
the information we need.
For example
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of newspaper online, we can find no difficulty to figure out what is going on in the US or how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in China.
On the other hand
, by dint of the booming of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, we have more opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
spectacular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
or programs, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to entertain in our free time.
Moreover
, thanks to social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, the connection
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has been easier than
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ever and
we can communicate unlimited to our friends or partners.

Nevertheless
, mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can affect
negatively
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
As a result
of overwhelming information on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, which is not always reliable, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
become misleading and not aware of what is the right thing.
For instance
, due to the incorrect information about toxins in grapefruits on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
newspaper online,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
farmers have suffered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
loss and damages recently.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may be keen on watching the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
or programs all the time and do not spend their time on outdoor activities like sports, which will be not beneficial for their health.

In conclusion
, it is obvious that we
are surrounded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
everywhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should find the balance between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and our real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
to avoid the detrimental effects of this.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts