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The importance of traveling for education is greatly overrated. In modern days, you can still be a brilliant scholar without going outdoors. To what extent do you agree? v.1

The importance of traveling for education is greatly overrated. In modern days, you can still be a brilliant scholar without going outdoors. v. 1
It is considered by some that teaching social rules for children in school to have a more beneficial effect to make an obligate person in the community, while there are others who think that parents can teach social criteria to children making better members of society. In my opinion, I believe that school as an effective social section of a country can persuade children to become good members of society. On the one hand, many think that learning social rules in the home with children through the parent’s supervision could make a better civilization member. In other words, children from early edge start to learn environmental laws and familiarization with basic principles leads to children have a deep understanding of social values. Also, parents individually have been getting acquainted with a child in terms of personality and, therefore, behaviour of them could be more impressed children to internalize wrathful things. On the other hand, teaching valuable social rules by the school in order to make a good member of the community has an appropriate result, according to some. The school has a similar aspect with society from the point of a management system, and therefore children from all walks of life come there to pursue their education goals need to behave according to some criteria in the same society. Accordingly, determine some principals besides teaching corresponded law in this circumstance could be considered as a great commence to use of practical social rules in a similar society. For example, when children learn to set their time in keeping with school disciplines, practically they learn how they should carry out their obligations in society. Finally, in my opinion, I believe that teaching social rules that one may make enough compatibility of child behaviour in society have a sufficient impression on child preparing them to get better homogeneity as a member of society.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to have a more beneficial effect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
After 'an', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'obligate' is correct. If 'obligate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
an obligate
person in the community, while there are others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that parents can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
criteria to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
making better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
section of a country can persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of society.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
in the home with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
through the parent’s supervision could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a better civilization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from early edge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to learn environmental laws and familiarization with basic principles leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a deep understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values.
Also
, parents
individually
have been getting acquainted with a child in terms of personality and,
therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of them could be more impressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to internalize wrathful things.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of the community has an appropriate result, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has a similar aspect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
from the point of a management system, and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from all walks of life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
there to pursue their education goals need to behave according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
criteria in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Accordingly
, determine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
principals
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
corresponded law in this circumstance could
be considered
as a great commence to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
in a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn to set their time in keeping with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
disciplines,
practically
they learn how they should carry out their obligations in society.

Finally
, in my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
that one may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
compatibility of child
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
have a sufficient impression on child preparing them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better homogeneity as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The importance of traveling for education is greatly overrated. In modern days, you can still be a brilliant scholar without going outdoors. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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