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Air travel only benefits the richest people. The majority of people get no advantage from development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Air travel only benefits the richest people. The majority of people get no advantage from development of air travel. v. 1
Nowadays, the fashion sense of people has greatly changed. In the past individuals were more attracted towards customary wearings. But, these days they are impressed by the fashionable outfits that come in a huge variety. In my opinion, it is a positive change if it is within the parameter of cultural norms. To start with, a few decades before most of the public use to wear conventional clothes. The most crucial cause of that was the unavailability of modern stitching units, so, people mostly fabricated the garments at home. Handmade dresses were considered very special and people wore those dresses at conspicuous occasions. For example, most of the people wore Salwar Kameez at Eid festivals and these outfits were marked as the identity of that particular event. However, with the passage of the time fashion industry evolves a lot, so, choices of the people also changes. Young millennials cannot compromise at their outfits as these are the visual indicators of a personal image. Therefore, youngsters are more attracted towards new fashion trends. For instance, statistics show that more than half of the customers of modern brands are youngsters and they are contributing massively in involvement of new trends. Moreover, it’s quite understandable that persons have changed their mindsets as it is the need of the hour. They have to follow a dress code according to the formality of an occasion. For example, for a job interview or an employer of a multinational company cannot wear conventional clothes in the office. Hence, adopting the new fashion is not a negative development till it remains under the umbrella of the culture. In conclusion, tradition is what we live today. Yesterday's tradition will be replaced by the today's style and similarly, today's tradition will be replaced by tomorrow's customs. We must adopt the outfits under the restrictions of the norms of that particular society in which we are living.
Nowadays, the
fashion
sense of
people
has
greatly
changed
. In the past individuals were more attracted towards customary wearings.
But
, these days they
are impressed
by the fashionable outfits that
come
in a huge variety. In my opinion, it is a
positive
change
if it is within the parameter of cultural norms.

To
start
with, a few decades
before
most of the public
use to
wear conventional clothes. The most crucial cause of that was the unavailability of modern stitching units,
so
,
people
mostly
fabricated the garments at home. Handmade dresses
were considered
very
special and
people
wore those dresses at conspicuous occasions.
For example
, most of the
people
wore Salwar
Kameez
at
Eid
festivals and these outfits
were marked
as the identity of that particular
event
.

However
, with the passage of the time
fashion
industry evolves a lot,
so
, choices of the
people
also
changes
. Young millennials cannot compromise at their outfits as these are the visual indicators of a personal image.
Therefore
, youngsters are more attracted towards new
fashion
trends.
For instance
, statistics
show
that more than half of the customers of modern brands are
youngsters and
they are contributing
massively
in involvement of new trends.

Moreover
, it’s quite understandable that persons have
changed
their mindsets as it is the need of the hour. They
have to
follow a dress code according to the formality of an occasion.
For example
, for a job interview or an employer of a multinational
company
cannot wear conventional clothes in the office.
Hence
, adopting the new
fashion
is not a
negative
development till it remains under the umbrella of the culture.

In conclusion
, tradition is what we
live
today
. Yesterday's tradition will
be replaced
by the
today
's style and
similarly
,
today
's tradition will
be replaced
by tomorrow's customs. We
must
adopt the outfits under the restrictions of the norms of that particular society in which we are living.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Air travel only benefits the richest people. The majority of people get no advantage from development of air travel. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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